SFMTA: One Last TEP Meeting With Citizens to Render it Useless

The Transit Effectiveness Project (TEP) is a comprehensive overhaul of San Francisco's transit network.  It has been developed over several years of data collection, intensive planning and public outreach efforts.  It's also been sitting on the shelves collecting dust for the past 6 years, working through the guts of city bureaucracy. Finally, the SFMTA is ready to have it completely ruined by a selfish public that is vehemently opposed to participating in an activity commonly known as "walking".

Suggested improvements will benefit all transit users, but it will undoubtedly piss off one or two people and likely get scrapped.
Image via SFMTA.

The TEP aims to accomplish the following:

• Improve Reliability – Make service more predictable to build customer confidence before implementing proposed route changes

• Reduce Travel Times – Develop small- and large-scale strategies to reduce delay, enhance pedestrian safety, and get more service from existing resources

• Update Muni Routes – Redesign routes and adjust service to benefit the maximum number of Muni customers

SFMTA explaining to a group of angry car storage loving people, looking at "sheets of colored paper on sticks".
Image via Streetsblog

Feedback from the city residents aims to:

• Don't Make us Walk and Don't Remove a Bus Line - Make the lines more reliable and faster, but keep stops on every block, or even 2 on every block.  Walking three blocks to a bus that goes faster than 8 miles an hour?  Are you insane?

• Streamline and Enhance the Lines, but only inconvenience other people -  61 percent of Muni riders in a 2010 survey said they would consider walking a longer distance to their stop if they knew it would reduce their overall travel time, and only inconvenience someone else.

• Complain About the Change to Anything - Do it or don't, but don't expect any less anger of confusion from us.  And you better not get rid of one parking spot to enhance a bus route or there will be hell to pay.

SFMTA spokesman said, "We were very meticulous and careful in this planning, and now we're ready to have micro-democracy and politics completely dismantle all the good work we've done so far.  Think of us as the San Francisco Mini Democracy Agency.  Your opinion matters no matter how ruinous it is to our bus system."  Similar proposals like the Gearty BRT, Van Ness BRT, Polk Street, Market Street have gone through similar channels and will be completed in 2000sometimemaybenever.  Once the final TEP meeting is finished, they'll go door to door to make sure that every citizen in San Francisco has had their say.  Meeting will be held on Friday, March 28th at 8 am.

With the help of community input, we can make sure the TEP keeps the lines like the 21 Hayes Bus Line, with 1-2 stops every block and take twice as long as simply walking!
image found here.  

Bike Propaganda at Its Finest

The bike nuts are at it again!  Get a life, losers...

photo credit – bike nopa

A Pedestrian's Guide to Getting Along With Vehicles

As anyone who walks around San Francisco, you know that cars dominate the 40% of city designed to move and store vehicles, and that means we all need to work together.  So here's a tip on how to get along flawlessly with almighty vehicle.  Let's take a simple example.

You're a worthless pedestrian approaching a 4-way stop and you're about to cross but a car is blocking your route.  You should:

1. Recognize that being a pedestrian inherently makes you wrong.

It's your fault you decided to use your legs like a sucker.
Image found here.

Cars are bigger and faster and no matter how much you think you're right, you're wrong.  Let them figure out what's best.

2. Let the big shots pass.

What are you going to do about it?  That's right weakling pedestrian, nothing.

3. Bow down and apologize profusely for even considering crossing the street before a car does.

Just a simple gesture will go a long way to making peace with a blessed vehicle blocking their crosswalk.
Image found here. 

4. As the beautiful vehicle passes, wave and blow them kisses. Thank them for allowing you to even come near their vehicle unscathed.

We love you so much you blessed monsters!
Image found here.  

And there you have it, a perfect way to share the road that you don't deserve, and pass vehicles in a safe and respectful manner. Try this out next time you're foolishly on the road as a stupid pedestrian. You'll be glad you did!