In Response to Ongoing MUNI Issues - SFMTA Hire Raccoons

Raccoons starting their first day of training.
image found here.

The SFMTA and the public are upset over the recent "Sick out" that left many of them stranded and stuck in overcrowded buses.  With MUNI support at an all time low, the SFMTA has finally gone through with their "Plan R": hiring feral raccoons to run the buses.

Michelle Gregory, part time school teacher and regular transit rider commented, "if you asked me a few years ago if raccoons should operate the MUNI system I would have said 'hell no!' But after all the years of shoddy service, breakdowns, and strikes, I say why not give it a try.  Can't be any worse than it already is." She also commented that getting rabies was a small price to pay for actually getting to work at a reasonable time.    

"They're actually really attentive, safety conscious, and hardly ever bite."
image found here.

The SFMTA says they will save hundreds of millions of dollars per year since they only have to pay for cardboard boxes and premium garbage for the transit beasts.  Management is currently looking for "cute little hats and uniforms for the buggers".    

**Update**

After a week of being on the job the critters started a "Racoonion", and made demands for less work during daylight hours, marshmallows, and better access to trash cans.  SFMTA management immediately denied these demands, stating that it was not in the negotiated contract.  The Racoonion has since left their posts and refused to work until the SFMTA meets their fair and reasonable demands.

Not going in today - Nope nope nope
image found here.