SF Firefighters Union Against Bulb-outs & Leaner Streets for... Safety!

Bulbouts and wide sidewalks, probably behind this massive firetruck wedged between parked cars, are the biggest obstacles to public safety.
Image: KTVU

A contentious meeting took place in North Beach yesterday as crusty residents and firefighter unions opposed "basic street safety measures" and asserted that that sidewalk bulb-outs are dangerous. To appease Skeksis skeptics, the SFMTA will instead install painted "safety zones" on intersections along Columbus avenue.  Construction of concrete versions could begin next year, but undoubtedly won't, due to the screams of car loving opponents.

You would be a stone-cold idiot if you were to try and ignore the thousands of years of experience bestowed to us by the firefighter's union - on-street car storage is 1000% safer than bulb-outs and bike lanes.

At first glance the average person may think that bulb-outs, with their six inch raised curbs, are benign and wouldn't cause any issues to firetrucks moving about the city.  Bulb-outs typically replace on-street stored cars and supposedly have been shown to decrease the number of injuries between vehicles and pedestrians.   But Zero Vision derived requests like bulb-outs, bike lanes and 12 foot streets are a non-starter for the centuries old quorum of firefighters, which referred back to ancient fire codes created in the suburbs of Texas for guidance.

Ancient firefighter's union halfheartedly listening to the pleas for slimmer streets and bulbouts from pedestrians & bikers
Image found here.

The bulb-outs “being proposed for Columbus Avenue are not that scary,” said D3 Supervisor Julie Christensen, who got the SFMTA to install trial painted lanes to pacify the squawking SFFD Union & car loving neighborhood associations.  The San Francisco Firefighter's union still reserves the right to redesign any pedestrian and bike "friendly" street design.   On-street parking & hordes of vehicles on the streets has never been mentioned as problem for the firefighter's union.

Bike lanes like this can seriously delay a firetruck, whereas the left on-street car storage side is a fireman's safety dream come true.
image found here.

The Firefighter's Union not only blames bulb-outs, but insist that bike lanes and extended crosswalks hurt response times, so on-street car parking up to the curbs of crosswalks should remain the standard.  This sentiment was echoed by North Beach Neighbors President Trish Herman who believes the rising tide of bike lanes and wide sidewalks can clearly impinge upon the ability for firefighters to do their jobs.  Not only that, Trish bellowed that removing on-street car storage is not "considering the vehicle public."

North Beach Neighbors President Trish Herman screaming her case against more sidewalk space, and for more on-street car storage for the "vehicle public".
image found here

Not everyone shares the views of the firefighters union and other members of the vehicle loving public. Some people like Tony Wessling, a street safety advocate in North Beach said, “It makes no sense to design the city around the fire equipment. It makes better sense to design the fire equipment around the city.” At that point the ancient firefighter's union swarmed around Tony and devoured him, for safety.

Why use small, nimble vehicles like other countries to navigate smaller streets when you can simply maintain archaic street configurations with plenty of on-street car storage?
image found here.

SFTRU's Muni Challenge - "Gunderson Gold" Winners!

Pay no attention to the people at the top.  The real winners are the supervisors who day in and day out say, "It's just easier to drive my personal car around this 50 square mile city."
image courtesy of SF (Transit Riders Union(of jerks)

The SF Transit Rider's Union came up with a deplorable challenge for our city supervisors, to take Muniserable Transit! (See what I did there?!)  The challenge ran from Monday, June 1st to Monday, June 22nd, one day for each of the years since 1993 when San Francisco voters passed Proposition AA which stated that the mayor, members of the board of supervisors and other city officials, to ride Muni at least two workdays per week.  Absurd, right?!

Thankfully, about half our supervisors barely took it at all, and a few labored to put in a pity ride at the very end to lose out on the "Gunderson Gold: Zero Muni Rides" challenge.  Fortunately there were a few well deserved awards waiting in the wings.  Supervisor Tang won out with the least Muni rides.  More people accidentally trip and fall into Muni more than Supervisor Tang took it.  Well done, Tang!

Supervisor Tang squeaked by Cohen in the final days. Malia Cohen decided to take Muni that she had "given up on years ago".  

It was a tough call on which of the six would receive the Gunderson Gold for best excuse not to "eat their own dog food" and ride Muni, but Mark Farrell won out!  Farrell's excuse was that often times he has to drive his kids to school and it's the only time he can spend quality time with them.  Because the best times in your car, driving through a pedestrian rich environment should be spent interacting with your kids!

Two Muni trips at the last minute.  Why even try riding muni with your children when you can simply spend quality time with them driving! 

And honorable mention goes to London Breed, who took three pity Muni rides, and never once took the 21 Hayes, which she recently decided to make the SFMTA keep 2 stops on the same block.

Well done London Breed!  Good thing you avoided both these stops on the same block!  Your lack of experience and attention to Muni will pay off greatly for all us motorists!

Other supervisors gave their constituents the impression that there are alternatives to the glory of driving a vehicle in a dense pedestrian rich environment.  A special boo-out goes to John Avalos, David Campos, Julie Christensen, Eric Mar & Jane Kim.  You are quite simply, the. worst.

And last but certainly last, I'd like to mention Scott Wiener and his deplorably high amount of Muni Rides.  Children are going to look at this alternative transit lifestyle and think it's social acceptable.  Please, children, let Mayor Lee be your compass, and only take a politically viable amount of transit rides if you absolutely have to.

Scott Wiener giving people the impression that Muni isn't just a shame cab for poor people.
Image found here.

And to make matters worse those SFTRU gave me a mock award!  Can you believe anyone would do such a thing?

Eric Mar & SFTRU and my mock award - "You Loath me, you really loath me!"
Image courtesy of Thomas Rogers & the SFTRU

Here's to next year when we can hopefully boot out all the supervisors who have shamelessly promoted public transit in our city.  Let's ensure that San Suburbscisco stays a car first city!