Has this ever happened to you? You're foolishly using your legs like a sucker, walking down a sidewalk and you find yourself basking in the glory of a car parked on the sidewalk? Well fear not, pathetic pedestrian. Here are a few simple tips that can help in these situations.
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| How fortunate were you to be reminded about your foolish decision to walk on a sidewalk?! image found here, courtesy of Patrick Traughber |
Step 1: Don't get angry. While a metallic marvel resting on a sidewalk might not be your cup of tea, it's a very low level offense in the eyes of the law. Retaliation in any form, like causing permanent damage to the car, could be considered a felony. Don't even think about it! Come to think of it, you should write an apology note just for contemplating such a thing, you monster.
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| A nice little note will go a long way to mending the rift you caused. |
Step 2: When you're done writing a pleasant, self-effacing note, delicately post it on the car. Throw in a few bucks as well for their troubles! After that, simply walk around that steel beauty on the street, ever so slightly bowing your head in reverence and shame.
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| You are, quite simply, the worst. image found here |
Step 3: Once you passed your combustible, metal superior, find the nearest police station and turn yourself in for jaywalking. You should be ashamed of yourself.
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| Walk over to the nearest SFPD station, like the Park(ing) Station Police Department and turn yourself in for being a filthy jaywalker. image found here. |
Having this kind of humility when it comes to traversing our city streets will go a long way to making our cities better for motorists everyone.
