Police "Crackdown" on Infrequent Causes of Pedestrian Injury

According to community complaints, riding a bike is a nonstatistic danger to pedestrians and needs to be curbed with police resources and time.
image found here. 

Everyone knows that in order to reach Vision Zero, police must treat community complaints as statistics and respond accordingly.  At a recent SFPD Park Station community meeting, the station was told that they should focus more resources and time on "reckless bikers" who endanger the lives of pedestrians, or themselves, or whatever they're basically-the-same-thing-don'tthinkaboutittoomuch.

The police vow to crack down on least frequent causes of pedestrian injury.  Less likely than "tripped on a stone" or "stepped in a hole".
image found here.

The SFPD checked the 2013 Pedestrian and Bicyclist Crash Statistics which reported 66,000 pedestrian injuries in 2013; nearly one injury every eight minutes.  They found that of the the top six sources of injury, "reckless bikers" was oddly missing from the statistics.  Given that the complaints from the community were critically important, they could only deduce that the smallest, nil, to potentially magical sources of injury, should be given far more attention.

The Police department started cracking down on the most infrequent and unlisted causes of pedestrian injury.

• Piggy-back ride contests  
• Zipping up your pants while walking
• Racing stray cats
• Walking with three of your best friends, arm in arm, reciting the lyrics from The Wizard of Oz
• Crocs

In addition to the "crackdown", pedestrians are also being encouraged by the police to stay inside the house at all times if possible, crawl on the sidewalk with a helmet, or better yet, just drive a car. 

Maybe you'll think differently about wearing Crocs next time, Larry.
image found here.