Engineers Mandated to Run Famili ® Simulations on Street Designs

Street engineers have long been found to tip the scale in favor of cars over pedestrians, public transit and biking. In an effort to create more human friendly streets, cities have been forcing them to run simulations using family ® technology. 

Street engineers upload pictures of their loved ones into the Famili ® simulator to watch them navigate the streets they've created.
image found here  

"The software takes into account how many motorists text, speed and ignore stop signs & lights. It also takes into account maybe your child makes a mistake and assume the car is going to stop for them. All the data is in there," said -found the Jason Stakes. The engineer will spend hours watching cars weave in and around theire loved ones. The simulation will slow down to show them when, statistically, one of their loved ones will be mowed down because of the street design and the stark reality of motorist behavior.




DOT engineer watches a simulation of his father and three daughters crossing the street he recently designed. "It's really scary when you know 10-40% of  those motorists aren't paying attention "
Image found here

Because of Family ® technology, cities have seen a more holistic "Complete Streets" concept that incorporates more biking, public transit and road diets. Some of the engineers have left the workforce altogether claiming the Famili ® simulator is too stressful and impedes their ability to build stroads.  One Vision Zero championing mayor proclaimed,"When an engineer can come out of the simulation with dry eyes, we know we have a good design."




Cities are seeing more "complete streets" using famili ® technology
image found her and

In Effort to Make Street Sewers Safer - Traffic Engineers Hire Snake Handlers

How do you make insanely dangerous things safer?   It's as easy as 1,2, a 3c(b) + d(b) < a 2k + b
picture on the left here. picture on the right found here.  

Traffic Engineers have long wondered how to make huge six lane highway-like streets within their cities safer. They've been baffled at how to make motorists obey the posted speed limits and abide by traffic lights, without going on a "road diet", installing bike lanes, or making the area less car dominant.  "My team and I thought about what other kinds of incredibly dangerous and avoidable activities were out there, and how people apply try to apply safety measures", said Kevin Wright, local traffic engineer.  "It seems all but impossible", he admitted. "Then one of our teammates shouted 'Snake handlers!'"  We couldn't believe how long it took us to realize they could definitely help us out.

Snakes and cars are dangerous, but there's a proper way to handle them.  (he's dead.)
Image on left found here.  image on right found here.

Kevin commented, "while talking to the snake handlers we saw a lot of commonality.  There's a lot that can go wrong on a street-freeway, and believe me it does. As soon as their group got back from the emergency room, they gave us a lot of great safety tips that we can apply to our city's street-sewers."

Snake Handling <Street Sewer Safety> Tips 

1.  <Pedestrians> Avoid “big” movements. Be as subtle as possible.

2. <Pedestrians> Remember snakes<cars> don’t have human emotions so when it strikes at you it is trying to defend itself not <and to>teach you a lesson.

3. <Pedestrians> Keep a Safe Distance.  Move slowly and deliberately.

4. When you get bit <struck>, seek medical attention immediately.  

5. Tell your family you love them anytime you handle a snake <walk to the store>

With proper safety procedures, only a lots of people die instead of tons.
images found here 

Kevin added, "With the help of the survived snake handlers, I think we can make a lot of remarkably modest changes to our streets, by focusing on forcing as many cars through as we possibly can and THEN applying safety.  "I mean you could just remove a few lanes of traffic or prohibit cars entirely, but this isn't Amsterdam for Christ's sake."