City Poised to Turn Back on Mission Transit Project Because Cars Can't do Things

Transit only lanes that rob 10,000 motorists of their freedom to do car things, every day
Image via Brian Stokle

The thermoplastic has barely dried, the project a decade in the making, set to benefit 67,000 riders a day hasn't been completed, but there are plenty of people angry about the Mission Rapid Project. The project already went through years of painstaking "community meetings" and redesigns to weaken it down to a half-measures aimed at pleasing motorists and ensuring merchants of their God given right to on-street parking.

Typical SFMTA Project:

1) Develop a Transit Improvement Plan.
2) Water down plan to appease everyone.
3) Appease no one.
4) Water down plans further.
5) Endure perpetual criticism about how Muni sucks and can't get anything done.

Without knowing any of the facts, David Campos quickly responded to screaming motorist's anecdotes that the plan was already ruining their way of life.  Campos started a Facebook post to whip up hysteria.  He said, "As a supervisor, it's up to me to amplify the screams of my motoring constituents.  They're angry, honking, and putting people into danger because we've robbed them of the experience promised to them in car commercials. I don't seek to understand.  I don't care if 67,000 bus riders save 5 minutes off their commute. It's my duty to cowardly pander to a few select neighbors rather than actually... you know, lead."

"Wait what do I do?  Do I drive in the red lane that says 'bus only'?  This is so confusing!

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Ed Reiskin, San Francisco's Politician of Transport, met with some "Mission Leaders" and plans to hold yet another community meeting.  He said, "I want everyone to know that despite all the careful planning, studying and the outreach everyone in my agency did these past 10 years, we can turn on a dime if I hear a few complaints from the 10,000 motorists that drive along the Mission.  I want you to have confidence that we don't even have confidence in what we're doing.  I want you to know that even the smallest motorist's scream will be heard and acted upon swiftly.  Despite our "Transit First Policy" we want to tell the nearly 10% of San Franciscans who ride the 14-Mission and 49-Van Ness/Mission buses every day, you really don't matter."

The date and time of the community meeting shitshow has yet to be determined.

There's literally nothing more important than catering to the whims of Mission St. Motorists

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Thanks to "Militant Pedestrian & Ian Monroe for the quotes I stole!

Officials Send Strong Message to Motorists: 'Don't be Drunk When You Drive Like a Drunk'

Driver who sped and killed was checked for drugs and alcohol, then sent on her merry way.  This sends a clear message: Don't be drunk, because you could have done the thing you just did, drunk.
image found here

Over 30,000 people in the United States perish as a result of auto crashes, and one third of those accidents are the result of drunk driving.  The other two-thirds are the result of behaving drunk while driving.  Police all over the country test people after they've been involved in crashes to send a strong message,"if you recklessly speed, run through a red light, or otherwise endanger pedestrians, you better not be drunk when you do it."

Driver jumps a curb and hits five children near Queens School, gets a breathalyzer.  He didn't have any alcohol in his system when he disregarded the safety of others.  No charges.
image found here.

San Francisco makes certain their reckless drivers are sober.  Evidence supported that Muzaffar was completely sober when he was checking his phone and making a fast right turn in his SUV, failing to yield to 3 people, killing 1 and seriously injuring the others. Investigators found there was no cause for charging Muzaffar with gross negligence as a felony, because he wasn't intoxicated.   So the lesson is clear, don't be drunk when you behave drunk or you'll pay dearly.

Muzaffar is very lucky to have been driving recklessly and without any care to the personal well-being of others, sober, or he could have gotten a worse sentence.
image found here.

All over the country, Police, District Attorneys and Judges are working tirelessly to make the streets free of impaired motorists.  They hope that some day we'll live in a world where we're only struck and killed by impatient and distracted drivers who are fully aware of what they're doing, and get away scot-free.  

SFMTA to Angry Motorists: "Screw it! You Can't Have Nice Things!"

"Does this look like a problem caused by pedestrian safety improvments, public transit and bike lanes, morons? "- SFMTA
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The San Francisco Metro Transit Association has been under a lot of fire recently from angry, math impared individuals and their poorly written websites, blaming them for everything under the sun.  Finally, after years of taking this abuse, they've finally released an open letter to the angry motorists of San Francisco:

Dear Angry SF Motorists, 

Screw it.  You can't have nice things.  You can't be trusted to drive safely or sanely on a big wide street with multiple lanes.  Is there ever a signal rotation that goes by without one of you jackasses speeding through it?  We have to tell cops to patrol you every single hour of every single day because we know you're doing stupid shit out there.  You treat pedestrians and cyclists like they're obstacles in a game and not real people.  You can't be relied upon to actually move your car after the allotted time so we have to babysit and ticket you.  You can't handle even the slightest traffic jam without losing your shit.  We have to send out traffic babysitters anytime something takes a few seconds away from your precious speedy commute.  

You can't share, you can't be safe, and you can't be trusted for anything.  You don't deserve to have anything nice.

"Does this look like the kind of thing we should have to prevent you from doing?  Can you at least attempt to hold onto one shred of decency when you're in your car?
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You complain that you don't have enough parking?  We put parking everywhere, even on busy arterial streets like a lunatic, but you still want more.  Are you serious that the ENTIRE LENGTH of the California Coast isn't enough for you?  Why are you being such selfish jerks?  You live in a city that was meant for, at most, 4,000 cars per square mile and now we're at 10,000. We're terribly sorry if you have a problem with simple math and geometry.  We'll gladly pay for a semester so you can relearn grade school math.  

Seriously?  This isn't enough?  This is more than TWICE the mount SF was every supposed to have?  And you wonder why there's car congestion?
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Why are you blaming us for the parking issue?  Why don't you blame your neighbor that hasn't actually used his cars in over a month?  Or that family that NEVER parks in their garage because they don't want to move their pingpong table or clear the garbage out of it?  Why don't you blame your neighbor that has that big "Do Not Park" sign in front of his garage?  You know they never use it.  Quit blaming us you morons.  

We gave unfettered access to the street but you continue to stop in pedestrian areas and blast through stop signs.  Is this what you do with every single street that's designed for you?  You can't even signal properly half the time - Seriously, look at yourselves, you're like children out there with the honking horns and skidding brakes and a complete disregard for anyone but yourselves. What kind of adult acts like this?  

"Has a pedestrian or cyclist ever come even close to creating this kind of carnage?  And you want us to make it easier for you to drive in the city?  Are you insane?
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And for your people who have turned to the internet with statements like "Fix the MTA", do you have any idea what you're even talking about?  Have you even noticed any of the improvements we've made in the past few years?  We're even getting good Yelp Reviews!  Do you even take MUNI?  That's right, you don't.  You've gotten in our way, every step of the way to improve any of the bus lines.  You don't even know what we've done, and you're determined to prevent us from continuing on our successes.  Guess what, we need money to do it and we don't have it and you guys say to fix things before we have the money?  What kind of planet are you from?  You guys seriously are THE. WORST.

Do you even have any idea of what the MTA and Muni is?  The Muni's job isn't to tell you how to get there?  Muni gets you there by public transportation, you idiots.  This is why you don't deserve anything nice.
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So guess what, we're taking away a lot of your car lanes, we're taking away some of your precious parking spots, and we're going to give the more responsible groups a chance.  You'll be seeing more road diets, pedestrian safety improvements, dedicated bus lanes and bike lanes.  We'll gladly exchange the kind of fresh hell you motorists unleash for the potential of some cyclists rolling through stop signs and more jaywalkers.  So look out transit riders, pedestrians, and pedestrians that cycle, your time has come.  Time to let the people who haven't abused their privilege have reign of the streets.  

Suck it, Angry Motorists.

-SFMTA