Meet SFBC's New Executive Director Noah Budnick: Worst Person Ever

Noah getting ready to hop on a bike and travel the City he ruined with bike lanes.

“There is incredible energy across the country to transform cities into healthy, livable places, and I’m so excited to work with communities around the city to put San Francisco on the forefront of this transformation.”  These are clearly the words uttered by a fanatical and evangelical bike nut!

Noah Budnick won crucial street campaigns, including creating a safer speed limit throughout New York City; the first protected bikeways in the U.S. on Manhattan’s 8th and 9th avenues; and Bus Rapid Transit throughout the city. Budnick also served on Mayor Bill de Blasio’s transition team, making Vision Zero and street safety a top priority for the incoming mayor. He probably takes credit in the fact that Citi Bike Share surged in the last year.  New Yorkers took 3.2 million trips during the first 100 days of the program and traveled an average of almost 30,000 miles daily.  He'll probably take credit for the fact there have been no fatalities so far, either.

Noah Budnick posts a picture of his crazy anti-car propaganda.
image found here. 

This kind of bike zealot has even proposed segregated bikes lanes just because of some "evidence" and "facts" that ped/bike accidents go down while biking increases.  He probably hasn't even read THE STUDY, which shows that cycling is the worst thing you could probably do according to the study.  The Study.

So have fun with your new executive director with his fancy new title and his over 14 years of experience, and his proven track record for decreasing accidents and making New York safer for every mode of transit.  Enjoy your private hell of better rapid transit, better Citi Bike Share, less car congestion and safer streets thanks to this bike lunatic.  

Oh Come on Why Won't Anyone Pay Attention to That UC Study About Bicycle Doom!?!

Here's a picture of a trauma room - Scary Right?  Don't even think of getting near a bike now!

Remember when I harped about that UC Study that irrefutably concludes that cycling is the most dangerous thing ever?  No, no not this UC bike study.  And I told you that the city is covering up the fact that you have a 0015% chance of getting hurt while biking in San Francisco?  Well here it is again!  I figure since no one is recognizing this as a beacon of doom, I'll just keep ranting on and on about it like any sensible person would do.  Here is some more Q&A on this important study on bicycle ruin.

Question 1: Does the city really do anything right?  How is this statistically insignificant amount of crashes any more or less important than car crashes, or pedestrians accidents?  Are you just trying to scare people into not biking?

B-Boy's Answer:  You just don't get it!  It's all part of the massive conspiracy with the all powerful SF bike coalition that dates back all the way to the Kennedy assassination.  Also, have I ever told you about how much I hate muslins.  Those cotton delicate sheers really grind my gears!

Question 2: Wait, the study says that there's more AVB (Automobile Vs. Bicycle) accidents than CO (Cyclist Only) accidents.  Doesn't that suggest that many of these accidents could be prevented by simply having motorists behave better on the roads and design better, safer, streets?

Bobbert's Answer:  Don't distract yourself from the real conclusion of this study.  People got hurt biking so it would be better if we simply create more barriers to stop cyclists from ever setting ass on a bike.  Do you really think that motorists are going to behave any better, ever?

Question 3: Don't the authors of this study come to the following conclusion: "Access to bicycling and other non-motorized modes of transportation is a significant need, especially in light of the public health issues resulting from inactivity. To encourage bicycling, improved roadways and management of risk and risk perception is key."

Bobby's Answer: They're a bunch of brain washed dicks!  The point is that even if you touch a bike you run the risk of winding up in the emergency room.

Have I shown Michael Helquist's  picture before?  He hurt his arm 5 years ago biking when he hit a pothole.  He's fine how but that won't stop me from using it every single chance I get!
image found here.

Question 4: This report really doesn't mesh with the latest article about Citi bikes. "After 23 million rides, no deaths in U.S. bike share programs" and only 40 people have been injured.  Doesn't this suggest that the more people bike the safer they are in numbers?  Isn't that cause enough to conclude that we need better infrastructure and more people out on bikes?  Haven't you seen other cities and countries where the crash rate is incredibly low?  Could this suggest there's different kinds of biking that contribute to injury (eg. cyclo-cross, long distance, daredevils?:

Bababui's Answer: Those are in different cities and countries, so I absolutely and conveniently cannot comment on them.  It has nothing to do with my inability to see outside of my own bias and weigh evidence from various points of view.

Question 5: The study also mentions "Surveillance data from both police records and hospital records will enable a better understanding of the needs for cycling infrastructure and public health education through evidence based research on both national and international scales." Are you suggesting that they're intelligent when it comes to uncovering the facts, but they're terrible interpreting the facts and making recommendations?

Bobboy's Answer: Shut up!  The government should be scaring the shit out of anyone who bikes in the city! They should actively discourage people from foolishly attempting to travel a densely packed 50 square mile city by bike.  Here's a picture of a mangled bike.  Put on your "Everything was Amazing in the 50s" glasses and read that study again!

DOOOOOM!!!  I show it because I ~care~ about you all very much. xoxo

UC Study Irrefutably Concludes: Cycling = DOOM

You might be surprised to know which one of these things is the most dangerous
 (*hint* It's biking with your family)
Images found here, here, and here.

For anyone who rides a bicycle in the city of San Francisco, I have some shocking news for you.  Did you know that you can get hurt by riding a bicycle?!?  It's true, even though the city and the Bicycle Coalition touts that it's perfectly 100% safe, probably.  Well this UC study proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that cycling is the WORST. THING. EVER.  The study found from 2000 to 2009 / 2,504 people got hurt on their bikes over a ten year period.  Considering that 43,000 commute by bike a day in the Bay Area, I'm sure that number is super scary.

You might be asking yourself a few questions about this data and I'm here to help guide you to the logical conclusion that biking is absolutely the most asinine thing you can do.

Question 1: There's a lot of different kinds of cycling: racing, recreational, long distance, commuting.  Does the study say what these cyclists were doing?  Maybe there's a correlation between things like age, type of biking and injury?

Answer: Shut up it doesn't matter all biking is the same to me and it should be the same to you!

This is really the only way biking could be any more dangerous.
image found here 

Question 2: If an average of 43,000 people are cycling each day, and you multiplied that by 365 days for 10 years, doesn't that mean one person was injured about every 1.5 days?  Doesn't that mean one person is injured out of every 64,500 bike trips, and bikers have .a 0015% chance of getting injured enough to warrant a trip to the ER?

Answer: You're a crazy bike-nut.  I don't let facts get in the way of my righteous indignation.

Question 3:  I saw an article about the New York City Bike Share and they've had very little injury and zero deaths.  Out of 8.75 million trips, they've had about 100 crashes reported, and about 25 of them required a trip to the ER.  How do you explain that?

Answer: Don't try and change the subject!!! This is about San Francisco and it's only ok for me to reference other cities when I'm discussing how ruinous biking is.

Think biking is safe?  Think again.  All these bikers are now DEAD.
image found here. 

Question 4: Couldn't you argue that walking and driving a car could also be dangerous?  Can you compare all the modes of transportation?

Answer: No and don't ever tell me what to do again.

Conclusion from the UC study: "trauma centers can play a key role in future collaborations to define issues and develop prevention strategies for CO (Cyclist Only) crashes."

Bob's Conclusion: Biking is simply the most atrocious thing you can do for yourself because some people get hurt doing it.  Think of biking as eating a plate of radioactive lard while being shot out of a cannon into a tank of starving sharks.  It's just that hazardous. Now throw away that pesky bike of yours and get yourself into a sweet sweet automobile.  I just saved your life, my friend.

Now doesn't this look a lot safer and healthier?
image found here.