Seattle's New Bike Share Immediately Screws up Traffic for Motorists

Seattle's Bike Share Program immediately jams up traffic for motorists
Bike Share Stations (Left) - Traffic Congestion (Right)

No more than 2 days into their start, the Seattle Bike Share Program already ruined traffic, say some pro- motorist groups.  Opponents of the program are throwing their hands up and screaming "we told you so!" They also pointed the finger to dedicated bike lanes and the various pedestrian and cyclist safety measures implemented over the last couple of years.  Eric Dicker, longtime resident of Seattle said, "We always said traffic was going to get worse and here's definitive proof that bike share is ruinous.  Now the sky is, indeed, falling." Eric explained the hardship he faced when driving a half mile to the store to get a loaf of bread.

Bikes were already clogging the shit out of Seattle - Bike Share just tipped the scale and ruined traffic for motorists.
image found here.

Seattle's Bike Share advocates have pointed the finger to the state's Department of Transportation, citing that all the extra traffic lanes built to accommodate more cars just created more congestion.  They also said recent cuts to public transit also contributed to more cars on the roads.  This has fallen on motorist deaf ears and many conveniently insist this is due to bikes. Motorists, jammed  up in traffic, say the blame falls solely on these bikers and their far reaching efforts to provide quick bicycle trips in and around the city.  "I mean just look at them taking up 2 feet on side roads, going 15 miles an hour. Is it any wonder our highways and freeways are so screwed up now?"

"We always knew these small, nimble machines would just obliterate motorist traffic"
image found here

Don't Bike to Work Day - May 6th!

These bad boys are staying put today for the annual "Don't Bike to Work Day"
image found here.  

Everyone by now knows that May 8th is San Francisco's official "Bike to Work Day", but people might not know that May 6th is "Don't Bike to Work Day" when over 24,000 people who would otherwise bike to work, decide to take other slower and more expensive modes of transport.  Regular cyclist commuter, Dutch Johnson, standing awkwardly in a Muni bus with a elbow in his face, commented, "this is a good day for cyclists to remember how terrible commuting can actually be".  Muni already has an overburdened system and today the extra passengers pushed it to the tipping point.  

Muni riders trying to figure out what the shit is going on today and why they can't fit into their already crammed bus.
Images found here and here.  

Muni wasn't the only overburdened transit system today.   Market street and all of the surrounding streets were heavily congested since 3000 cyclists were replaced with mostly motorists.  Cars were spilling into the bus only lanes and stopping in the crosswalks, causing headaches to pedestrians.  Sandra Miney said, "This is an absolute nightmare down here. What a stupid thing for the cyclists to do!  What were they thinking!?"   

Randy Fitzgerald drove his car through downtown and was fortunate enough to find a parking, garage with capacity.  "I nearly forgot that I could spend 20 minutes driving my car 4 miles downtown through Market Street and pay $40 dollars to park".  Other people weren't fortunate to find parking as all the parking garages filled up before 10 am.  

"Good luck, they're all taken!"
image found here.

There were Don't Bike to Work Day "Aggravation Stations" all over the city for the event.  Pedestrians were given reflective gear so they were seen by more angry frustrated drivers.  They were also given plenty of water so they were hydrated when screaming at motorists pulling dumb moves like U-turns, fast bursts of angered speed through red lights and stopping in the crosswalks.  Motorists were also given Xanax and calming teas so they could finish their commute with a few nerves left in them.  

All in all Don't Bike to Work Day was a huge success thanks to the cyclists that gave up their easy, inexpensive, and congestion free commute.  Helmets off to everyone and here's to an even bigger, more crowded, nightmare next year!

"I hate you all!!!
image found here.