Seattle's New Bike Share Immediately Screws up Traffic for Motorists

Seattle's Bike Share Program immediately jams up traffic for motorists
Bike Share Stations (Left) - Traffic Congestion (Right)

No more than 2 days into their start, the Seattle Bike Share Program already ruined traffic, say some pro- motorist groups.  Opponents of the program are throwing their hands up and screaming "we told you so!" They also pointed the finger to dedicated bike lanes and the various pedestrian and cyclist safety measures implemented over the last couple of years.  Eric Dicker, longtime resident of Seattle said, "We always said traffic was going to get worse and here's definitive proof that bike share is ruinous.  Now the sky is, indeed, falling." Eric explained the hardship he faced when driving a half mile to the store to get a loaf of bread.

Bikes were already clogging the shit out of Seattle - Bike Share just tipped the scale and ruined traffic for motorists.
image found here.

Seattle's Bike Share advocates have pointed the finger to the state's Department of Transportation, citing that all the extra traffic lanes built to accommodate more cars just created more congestion.  They also said recent cuts to public transit also contributed to more cars on the roads.  This has fallen on motorist deaf ears and many conveniently insist this is due to bikes. Motorists, jammed  up in traffic, say the blame falls solely on these bikers and their far reaching efforts to provide quick bicycle trips in and around the city.  "I mean just look at them taking up 2 feet on side roads, going 15 miles an hour. Is it any wonder our highways and freeways are so screwed up now?"

"We always knew these small, nimble machines would just obliterate motorist traffic"
image found here

Sonoma-Marin "SMART" Train... Wait for it... Wait for it... is DUMB!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Now why would you want to take the 'DUMB' Train when you can take the 101 Parking Lot/Freeway?

SMART (Sonoma-Marin Area Rail Transit) will carry people, freight and parallel a new 73 mile bike/pedestrian path.   But here in lies the shocker.  Did you know that these trains cost money and that sometimes they might cost more than estimated?!?  A Sonoma County "Grand Jury" report found that out!  You can find this information on page 15, right after the "It’s 10 p.m. Do You Know Where Your Dog And Cat Are?" article.

SMART might not be like the well managed and under spent projects like the 6.5 billion Eastern Bay Bridge span, or the multi-billion dolllar 405 freeway widening project that might actually be done by now.  The SMART project relies mostly on state and county money with some moneys from the quasi-solvent Federal "Trust" Fund. Sure, the trust that ran out of money a month ago because there's too many projects and not enough money generated by a 20 year old gas tax.  The brilliant minds in congress decided they would keep it afloat by diverting funds from "Pension Smoothing" and some kind of leaky tanks fund.  I'm sure it will be back to sustainable levels again and become a magnet for pet projects and bridges to nowhere again soon.

Who would want to give this up?  It's freedom baby!!!
image found here.  

SMART officials can't even predict the future of how many people will actually take the DUMB train.  As you can see from the red on South 101 and 280, they're super popular and everyone is flocking to jam those babies up!  So why would anyone want a stupid smelly quick DUMB train anywhere?  Why would we want to go back in history to when trains got people to where they needed to go?  Should we really risk building a train that will give the public accessibility to the area between Cloverdale and Larkspur in 60 minutes when they could just sit in a car for two and a half hours and get there via america freedom fuck yeah cars?!

Freedom!!! Now double it, and add more!

Ridership has only gone up on BART, Caltrain, Amtrak, Metrolink, and AC transit, but can we really be sure this will be the case for other trains?  Do we really know it will spark land development, business, and higher home values as it's done in every other area?  We really can't be sure. Why not spend that money doubling the Freeways a few times, which is sure to work out, this time, again!

Behold, the profound loss and disappointment of taking a DUMB train.  Did you get that?  Dumb?  It's SMART but I said dumb!
image found here.  

Restoring the Embarcadero Freeway

My dear car loving friends, some of you may not remember the glorious times automobiles had in San Francisco.  There was actually a time when a beautiful chunk of concrete separated the city from the waterfront and allowed a breathtaking view of asphalt and metal.  People even flocked to it when other methods of transit were available.  The Freeway was said to actually have bottlenecked, jammed up traffic and people crashed all over that bitch, but damn was it popular!

It's like two sublime grey snakes mating like gangbusters.
Image found here.  

Right after the freeway opened in 1958 it caused quite an uproar that the supervisors decided to never allow a masterpiece like this to ever be erected in San Francisco again.  I can only assume it was akin to having da Vinci create a work of art, only to reproduce it again.

Welcome to the raised progress hole!
image found here. 

In 1989, in what some people considered mother nature's attempt to shake the fuck out of the eyesore of the city, the Loma Prieta earthquake damaged parts of the Freeway.   Once it was torn down and a boulevard was put in it's place, 100,000 drivers were forced to either walk, bike, or take public transit.  Retail and merchants flocked to the area.  Huge commercial development have cropped up and increased by 51%.  Jobs have also shot up by 23%.  Other redevelopments like the old Ferry Building and Pier 1 have continued to change the waterfront.  But at what cost?!  Can we truly say that removing this monstrous concrete speedway was the right decision?  I, for one, can wholeheartedly say absolutely not, you idiot.  

The removal of the Embarcadero freeway was an obvious disaster, and current projects like redesigning the Masonic Freeway, will have similar effects.  Let's stop spending our money on bullshit projects that supposebly save people's lives and create an economic boon.  Let's continue to use city funds it to make sure that people can get from point A to point B in their private cars as quick as humanly possible. Restore the Embacardero Freeway!

Oh Embarcadero Freeway, you may be gone from San Francisco, but you're still in my dreams.
Image found here.  

Octavia Boulevard - Hell on Earth

Hell. On. Earth. 

As you well know, I have a boner for high speed traffic and freeways.  I was disheartened in 1999, when two initiatives were on the ballot, one to rebuild the freeway, and one to remove it.  Ultimately the voters decided to remove the freeway, undoubtedly because of some kind of Walk Nut conspiracy or some shit.

The Central Freeway was near and dear to my heart, as it provided a safe haven to crack addicts, pigeons, and kept housing prices at very affordable levels.

The Central Freeway: Notice how it effortlessly rammed itself into the neighborhood hole.

The people of the neighborhood were too selfish and foolish to realize that the removal would have dire consequences.  Everyone knows that freeways relieve traffic so it's running smoothly and efficiently, just like in LA. 

Crack Dens and Hooker Pits are often the first casualties of freeway removal. 

But the real victims of this boulevard debacle, are the hookers.  Shangelica reported, "Where I gunna give all my blowys at, huh?"  Sadly, blowy areas were replaced with medians, bike lanes, and a park for children.

Just imagine this is moving really fast, as all freeway traffic does. 

Now, whether or not this messy and politically heated decision to turn the freeway into a boulevard was good for the entirety of the population of SF will always be debatable and a point of contention.  But not for me, because although I never drive it, bike it, or walk it, Octavia Boulevard is absolutely 100% the worst decision ever.