Kids Learn a Super Fun Game to Avoid Vehicle Carnage

Kids learning fun games and limericks that instill the ordained fear of vehicles.
Photo: Lea Suzuki, The Chronicle | Buy this photo

The city of San Francisco is ready to spend the next couple of decades trying to make streets less like the highways they were designed to be.  And while motorist behavior stays the same, it only makes sense to teach children that they shouldn't get in the way of the almighty car.  Spokesman for the 'Kids Get Out of The Damn Way' program said, "Children need to learn early the grim reality that every street of every block of their entire neighborhood is a virtual slaughter zone, but they're going to learn in a super fun and interactive way!  They even have a mascot for the occasion called "Conky: The Crazed Car of Doom".  Conky would run around the children texting and drinking while the children avoided getting 'flattened' by the beloved mascot.

Always remember what Conky says, Kids!  "Get out of my way or I will END YOU."
Image found here.  

The often trembling and teary eyed children were thrown into a "video game like" environment and told to play out real life scenarios where they pay reverence to the almighty vehicle.  In one situation, they were told to wave their hands and plead for their lives while Conky backs out of their driveway without checking his rearview mirror.  As with previous years, this year shaping up to be just as dangerous and detrimental to pedestrians in San Francisco at the hands of motorist behavior, it only makes sense to teach children the natural order of streets.

As Sandy dries her eyes she asks the instructor "Did I win the game?" to which the instructor replies, "Maybe you did Sandy... maybe..."
Photo: Lea Suzuki, The Chronicle | Buy this photo

Kids will learn to be afraid and avoid getting in the way of cars up until they get to the age where their brains become wired and prone to reckless and risky behaviors, at which time they'll be given the opportunity to operate a vehicle themselves.  The hope is that they will remember their 'Get Out of The Damn Way' training.  Teens will understand the tables are finally turned and pedestrians will need to get the hell out of their way from now on.

"Welcome to my world, bitches"
image found here.