Don't Bike to Work Day - May 6th!

These bad boys are staying put today for the annual "Don't Bike to Work Day"
image found here.  

Everyone by now knows that May 8th is San Francisco's official "Bike to Work Day", but people might not know that May 6th is "Don't Bike to Work Day" when over 24,000 people who would otherwise bike to work, decide to take other slower and more expensive modes of transport.  Regular cyclist commuter, Dutch Johnson, standing awkwardly in a Muni bus with a elbow in his face, commented, "this is a good day for cyclists to remember how terrible commuting can actually be".  Muni already has an overburdened system and today the extra passengers pushed it to the tipping point.  

Muni riders trying to figure out what the shit is going on today and why they can't fit into their already crammed bus.
Images found here and here.  

Muni wasn't the only overburdened transit system today.   Market street and all of the surrounding streets were heavily congested since 3000 cyclists were replaced with mostly motorists.  Cars were spilling into the bus only lanes and stopping in the crosswalks, causing headaches to pedestrians.  Sandra Miney said, "This is an absolute nightmare down here. What a stupid thing for the cyclists to do!  What were they thinking!?"   

Randy Fitzgerald drove his car through downtown and was fortunate enough to find a parking, garage with capacity.  "I nearly forgot that I could spend 20 minutes driving my car 4 miles downtown through Market Street and pay $40 dollars to park".  Other people weren't fortunate to find parking as all the parking garages filled up before 10 am.  

"Good luck, they're all taken!"
image found here.

There were Don't Bike to Work Day "Aggravation Stations" all over the city for the event.  Pedestrians were given reflective gear so they were seen by more angry frustrated drivers.  They were also given plenty of water so they were hydrated when screaming at motorists pulling dumb moves like U-turns, fast bursts of angered speed through red lights and stopping in the crosswalks.  Motorists were also given Xanax and calming teas so they could finish their commute with a few nerves left in them.  

All in all Don't Bike to Work Day was a huge success thanks to the cyclists that gave up their easy, inexpensive, and congestion free commute.  Helmets off to everyone and here's to an even bigger, more crowded, nightmare next year!

"I hate you all!!!
image found here.