Buffered Bike Lane in Golden Gate Park - WORST IDEA EVER!

Buffered bike lanes in Golden Gate Park force motorists to deal with slower speeds and dooring.  A problem previously endured by bikers.
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When you go into a park riding a bike is probably the last thing on your mind.  You're most likely wondering how you're going to be driving and parking your car in mother nature's green bosom. Well, some idiots at the SFMTA decided that they would try to make cycling safer in San Francisco, while protecting nature's most precious resource, car parking.  Golden Gate Park is not only home to ponds, windmills, and buffalo, but it's also home to 10,000 parking spaces.

Golden Gate Park: Home to 53 species of mammals, 250 species of birds, 20 species of reptiles and thousands of varieties of parking spots.
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The SFMTA came out with a report stating that these modifications made pedestrians, cyclists and even drivers feel safer.  Motorists certainly applaud the efforts of the SFMTA to not remove the ten thousand parking spots in Golden Gate.  Some motorists complained about parking in the new configuration. Agnu Dillford exclaimed, "How are you supposed to know where to park?  Where it says parking?  Where all the other cars other are parked?  Do you park on the asphalt that has the picture of a bike and forward moving arrows?  It's so confusing!"

"Wait, do I park where all the other cars are parked, or do I park in the lane with the arrows and pictures of bikes?"
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Some people are not happy with the design, mainly because drivers can no longer enjoy road domination for nearly a mile.  Transportation nation claims, "For cars, average speed has dropped about two or three miles per hour since the road was striped."  Drivers are forced to slow down their car in one of the largest urban parks, surrounded by nature.  Motorist Lita Ward said, "I've had several incidents where I've nearly collided with people getting out of their cars, that are crossing the bike lane into the sidewalk area,”  Because of the changes, cars have to slow down and be mindful of dooming (when someone opens up their car door and hits your vehicle), a problem that was previously confined to people riding bicycles.

Just a few blocks down Golden Gate Park and natural street order is restored.  Cyclists contend with speeding cars and the threat of dooring.  The way nature intended.

And while the first few blocks of Golden Gate Park remain an absolute nightmare, the rest of streets remain a glorious testament to car domination. Aside from the few strips of buffered bike lanes, motorists also have to contend with "Car Free Sundays" when less than a 4th of the space in Golden Gate is devoid of nature's greatest gift, car traffic and parking.

Car Free Sundays.  Nature must be rolling in her grave.
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60 Percent of SFMTA's Budget Spent Dealing With Incorrigible Assholes

At first glance you would think the SFMTA's budget is rather generous, but if you drill down deeper you'll find that much of the budget is spent on simply dealing with assholes.   SFMTA's plans to improve Muni and help decrease congestion often crash land into a sea of assholes.  They spend much of their funds meeting with assholes, trying to meet their incredulous demands to the point of ruining the very transit the assholes never intend on using.  Dealing with these assholes who are stuck in the 50s is very costly.

The SFMTA has come up with many innovative and creative approaches to enhancing transit in the area which is immediately halted by assholes.  A few examples:

1. Let's build underground tunnels.

Asshole Response:  Noo!!! That will cost money you can't do that!  You spend too much money!!!

2. Ok... well how about we build a less expensive BRT transit system.  

Asshole Response:  Noo!!!  We'll lose parking, or a traffic lane, and that will hurt merchants!!! Even if most people come by other modes of transit NOOOO!!! 

"Does this look like the face of compromise?"  Don't @#$# touch my parking or car lanes!
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3. Ok Ok, how about we follow our TEP plans that took years to develop, included tons of input from the community, and approval from the Board of Supervisors.

Asshole Response: Noo!!!! Why wasn't I informed about the TEP project?!?  Why wasn't my input included?  Start from scratch lets do this all over.  Don't make transit only lanes and don't you dare remove a parking space to make traffic actually move!

4. Ok how about we just keep doing what we're doing.

Asshole Response: You guys don't do anything!  Make Muni better like you're supposed to!!!  Make it so we don't have car congestion! You're wasting our money!!!

You can bet that if it's putting a safe bike lane on Polk street, improving pedestrian conditions on Potrero street, or stopping deaths on Masonic Avenue, there's going to be a hefty price to pay dealing with assholes.  

"Say NO to wider sidewalks?  Well this is going to cost half of this year's budget."
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Much of the money is divided up between pacifying assholes from ENUF and "Meter Madness" who consistently bitch and complain about any change that could ever possibly happen to Muni.  In their last article they griped about the potential of a "smart app" that should have been around 5 years ago. Their response to such endeavors was a resounding "How many ways can you say “Privileged?"  And their comments on the problem of cars blocking thousands of pedestrians every day in crosswalks? Well "If SFMTA really cared about clearing intersections they would do a better job of timing traffic signals." Dealing with this kind of bullshit as an expensive undertaking.  

"The SFMTA needs to get us where... we need to go not tell us how to... there?"  What does that even mean? Oh Christ this is going to cost us" - SFMTA
Image found on this asshole's site

Lombard Street "Closed"? SFMTA Plan Failed? Chaos? Are These Question Marks Misleading?

The traffic on Lombard Street is completely screwed up?!  Well if that first sentence is any indication, the answer is a resounding, yes?  According to the hard working, unbiased folks at CBS, it was a major shitshow and immediately failed.  The crooked part of Lombard Street street was closed to most vehicle traffic (except for people who live on that street).   It only applies to Saturday and Sunday between noon and 6 p.m. and is part of a 3 week pilot program, which you can find buried at the end of most articles.  CBS was the first to crack this story with their irrefutable scientific evidence?

"Closed" Lombard Street.  This is Absolute Chaos?  Is the man fleeing for his life with his kid?
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When CBS interviewed a ton of people in the area they inevitably found someone who wasn't happy about it.  Some lady said that she was shocked, so it is, indeed, shocking and newsworthy.  People are now forced to actually walk or bike through this "closed" corridor for 12 hours out of the week for the entirety of 4 weeks.

Lombard Street is far less chaotic when there's a steady stream of cars idling,speeding, and blocking the entrance to a crooked street?

Image found here.  

There's no telling what kind of fresh hell that will be unleashed from closing a street to cars 48 of out of 672 hours during the month, but you'll be sure to find out through the unbiased view of our media outlets.  The SFMTA board approved the program claiming it would to increase safety and reduce congestion, which is complete bullshit... I mean, complete bullshit?

Pedestrians  jamming up Lombard Street and ruining it?
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