Ed Reiskin & London Breed Ensure Hysteria-Based SFMTA Decisions to Flourish

Think removing two bus stops on the same block is a no-brainer and is in the best interest of all transit users?  Well, you forgot where you live.

As my vast audience of faithful readers is well aware, Dearest District Five often has harsh and richly deserved criticisms for the SFMTA.  Whether they are recklessly wreaking havoc on the world economy by eliminating the profits of Apple, Ferrari, and Disney AND crushing the dreams of children—and during the holidays, no less!  Or destroying the economic vitality of the entire San Francisco Bay region and pooping on the grave of William Hammond Hall by completely ruining Golden Gate Park, they often seem to believe that they can and should make changes to our city, which is clearly ridiculous.

We were cautiously optimistic that the changes proposed in the Transit Effectiveness Plan (TEP) would be sufficiently watered-down and compromised away after a series of public meetings.   Because when it comes to making decisions in San Francisco, everyone's opinion matters, even when it comes down to removing two bus stops on the same block.  So when the SFMTA wants to make even a minor seemingly sensible change, they make sure they get the input of every single person in San Francisco and pay close attention to the loudest and most incoherent people on the planet.   And boy, did they do a great job with that here on a project close to both the block of Hayes street between Masonic and Central has not one, but two bus stops.  Yes, it is possible to walk from one bus stop to the other without ever crossing a street.

Which one should we remove?  Should we even remove one of them?  Why don't we ask everyone in the micro-community!

Ed Reiskin, the head of a transit agency that employs engineers with transportation engineering degrees from such laughable institutions as Cal Poly State University SLO, UC Davis, UC Berkeley, Cornell Unversity, UC Santa Cruz, and the University of Washington did what a true leader does: he turned to the community to make decisions for him.  Specifically, the crazy community.

Removing two stops on the same block should never be an independent decision by the transit authority. 

Like clockwork, the task of removing a bus stop, like the 70% of them that aren't even to the SFMTA's standards, it quickly turned into a SFSS (San Francisco Shit-Show) and all kinds of crazy came out of the woodwork, mainly those who delusionally believed that they could be negatively affected by the removal of a bus stop.  The most active party in this case was the owner of Central Coffee, which has thwarted bus removal time and time again.  This time they successfully whipped up hysteria by claiming that the entire bus line would soon be terminated if ONE OUT OF TWO BUS STOPS ON THE SAME BLOCK were eliminated.

The SFMTA is extraordinarily receptive to any kind of hysteria-based conclusions.  Even from sub-par coffee shops like Central Coffee. Image via SFCitizen

A SFMTA official was asked about the logic behind keeping two stops on the same block and they said, "we just want to make sure that people who don't have any concept of how transit works, or should work, gets a say in the process.  Even though we know it needs to be removed, we rely on the loudest and craziest people to make these decisions for us.  Other transit changes like adding an extra stop to the already stop heavy Van Ness BRT, nixing a complete raised bike lane on Polk Street, and slowing down the upcoming Geary BRT in the interest of car parking along the upcoming Geary BRT have all been scrapped in the interest of a few angry & misguided residents.  Because why on earth would we want to rely on best practices in the field, the expert analysis of our own staff members, or even our own agency's empirical experience?  No, the best people to make decisions about transit planning are those whose minds are pure, who have not been tainted by experience or education."

SFMTA always makes sure to have billions of meetings with angry loud individuals so they can water down perviously approved plans from engineers & experts, like the scrapped Polk Street bike plan.

Bob's Commentary: It cannot be overemphasized that Ed Resikin did a great thing here.  When faced with a deluge of identical email parroting the same nonsensical talking points such as this:

 "YOU CANNOT TAKE OUR BUS LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  REMOVING THE SECOND STOP IN A BLOCK WILL DIRECTLY RESULT IN THE DEATH OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WE CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR NEFARIOUS PLAN TO ELIMINATE OF THE MOST HIGH-TRAFFIC BUS LINES IN THE CITY BY MAKING A SMALL STEP TO IMPROVE IT AND BRING THIS PART OF THE LINE UP TO YOUR OWN STANDARDS!!!!!!!!!" 

Did Ed exercise leadership?  Did he respond to each message with a careful explanation of SFMTA's own evidence-based policies and the time and cost savings that would be involved?  Did he note that the stop in question is literally without shouting distance of two other stops and on the same block with one of them?  Did he assure people that removing one stop is not foreshadowing the removal of an entire major bus line?

The answer, dear readers, is no.  No, the SFMTA director of transportation did not take an opportunity to engage with his community and exercise leadership in explaining a decision made falsely controversial by outright lies.  He simply rolled over and allowed a loud liar with access to a photocopier and the tired bus riders who saw a scary sign to make city policy.  And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.

Ed Reiskin is ~all about~ improving Muni, except when it comes to removing bus stops within 300 feet of each other. 

As you may have noticed from Ed Reiskin's email above, there is still, sadly, one unnecessary gatekeeper between the people's transit planning and the real world.  We can only hope that the MTA board doesn't allow logic or basic common sense to enter into this situation.  If you worry that the MTA board will recklessly and foolishly remove the second bus stop in a single block, you can contact them to register your outrage: MTABoard@sfmta.com.  Until next time, keep loving your city so much it can never, ever change.

Prop L Sounds the Parking Alarm - "We Need More Space to Not Move Vehicles"

There's a real first world problem in San Francisco.  Per person, a car takes up 10 times more space than a bike, 15 times more than a train, and 30 times more than a pedestrian,  So obviously you need lots more room for them.  If you live in the population dense city of San Francisco, you're probably asking yourself "why isn't there more free space to not move vehicles?" The car balance loving supporters of Prop L have brought attention to this highly important issue.

The balanced use of a street should be to idle cars 95% of the time.  

Their website states "From 2009 to 2013, the MTA abolished over 4,000 street parking places" out of 441,950 spaces.  That's still more than the entire length of the California coast.  Did you hear that? The SFMTA "abolished" 00.90% of parking?  To help put that into perspective check out the picture below.

These 4,000 spots were once used to not move a car 95% of the time, for free.  And just what are they doing now?

• Bus bulb-outs and extra bus stop room to accommodate double loading and capacity.
• Car Share programs for people who want to get rid of their car or currently don't own one.
• The 3 actual bike dedicated bike lanes in San Francisco.  
• Parklets for pedestrians to enjoy more space around their favorite shops and restaurants
• "Safety"- like "Daylighting" Street corners for pedestrian visibility.  

Can you believe the SFMTA would abolish a parking space like this just so pedestrian can avoid vehicle carnage?
image found here.

Car dominated balance supporter Brandon Carlson exclaimed, "Since when did the Municipal Transit Association get it in their thick head that street space should actually move something? What kind of planet are they on?"  Prop L supporters believe that removing a fraction of a percent of space for parking is nothing short of madness.  Their hope is that when you think of gridlock in SF, you think of blaming the streets that lost car storage in favor of moving people and keeping them safer.

Space utilized to move people more than 5% of the time?  Disgusting.
image found here.

SFMTA to Demolish Housing for Neighborhood Parking Lots

The Great folks at "Restore Car Dominated Balance" 2014 have a lot of well thought out policy plans for the citizens of San Francisco.  They want to make sure that everything is equally shared between cars, bikes, cars, pedestrians, cars, muni, cars and cars.  The SFMTA has already agreed to help pilot one of their brilliant initiatives.

Parking - It's only everywhere and if you try to manage supply you're an asshole.
image found here.

Restore Car Balance Policy 3: A portion of any additional parking or motorists' fees and new bond monies earmarked for the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency (SFMTA) should go to the construction and operation of neighborhood parking garages.

There's little room to build additional parking garages in most neighborhoods since most of the land is already occupied by parks, businesses, houses and streets, the SFMTA has come up with an innovated way to deal with the issue.  Businesses and home owners put their name into the lottery and the one drawn has their building bulldozed to make room for a new, critically needed, neighborhood parking garage.  Mark Daury, longtime resident of Alamo Square, was the winner of the pilot lottery.

"Hey those are the breaks.  Our neighborhood sorely needs another underutilized parking garage" - Mark Daury,
image found here.

Mark Daury wasn't entirely happy that he was chosen and lost his house, but he feels it make a lot more sense than putting Car Shares on the roads, that help entice 9-13 people to give up their private automobiles, or installing parking meters with demand based pricing to help ease congestion.  "Hey those are the breaks. Our neighborhood sorely needs another underutilized parking garage".  If the pilot is deemed successful, additional parking craters will be constructed in the future.

Restore Car Balance wants to see more beauties like these in every SF neighborhood in the near future.
image found here.

Lombard Street "Closed"? SFMTA Plan Failed? Chaos? Are These Question Marks Misleading?

The traffic on Lombard Street is completely screwed up?!  Well if that first sentence is any indication, the answer is a resounding, yes?  According to the hard working, unbiased folks at CBS, it was a major shitshow and immediately failed.  The crooked part of Lombard Street street was closed to most vehicle traffic (except for people who live on that street).   It only applies to Saturday and Sunday between noon and 6 p.m. and is part of a 3 week pilot program, which you can find buried at the end of most articles.  CBS was the first to crack this story with their irrefutable scientific evidence?

"Closed" Lombard Street.  This is Absolute Chaos?  Is the man fleeing for his life with his kid?
Image found here.

When CBS interviewed a ton of people in the area they inevitably found someone who wasn't happy about it.  Some lady said that she was shocked, so it is, indeed, shocking and newsworthy.  People are now forced to actually walk or bike through this "closed" corridor for 12 hours out of the week for the entirety of 4 weeks.

Lombard Street is far less chaotic when there's a steady stream of cars idling,speeding, and blocking the entrance to a crooked street?

Image found here.  

There's no telling what kind of fresh hell that will be unleashed from closing a street to cars 48 of out of 672 hours during the month, but you'll be sure to find out through the unbiased view of our media outlets.  The SFMTA board approved the program claiming it would to increase safety and reduce congestion, which is complete bullshit... I mean, complete bullshit?

Pedestrians  jamming up Lombard Street and ruining it?
Image found here

Save Polk Street Car Domination - Road for Billionaires

While the SFMTA is claiming that only 15% of people that live and shop on Polk Street do it by cars. The rest got there by Transit, fool walking, or taking their idiotcycle. They reported that people that walk and bike actually spending more money on Polk Street on a weekly basis than any other transportation mode. They are trying to use this lie to encourage more bike friendly accommodations on a car-centered dream.

Bullshit Courtesy of SFMTA

Friends, this is absolute NONSENSE!!! The SFMTA is hiding the fact that every year Oprah, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Martha Stewart and countless other billionaires saddle into their cars and blast through the easy and convenient Polk speedway and bestow the residence and merchants with gifts while purchasing hundreds of millions of dollars in merchandise each year.  

"Speed trek through Polk Street?  Fuck, yes!

Gin Mansten, who owns a restaurant in the Polk, exclaimed. "I just love seeing these billionaires tear through our neighborhood!  Sure, over 130 pedestrians and bike riders have been hurt on our streets in the last several years, but when you have Martha Stewart stopping by and saying your chilled gazpacho is 'above adequate' it really brightens your day."  She also went on to say, "the real terrors here are the bikers.  If a bike lane is built here there will be nothing to stop them from their reckless and selfish ways.  Children and the elderly will cower in fear and we'll be asking ourselves. 'why did we ever choose these green painted abominations?!?'"

"When you can get through a half a mile in seconds and slam into a parking spot, it's a good thing" 

The SFMTA also doesn't disclose that bikers actually bring the Polk Street economy down because there's a direct correlation between biking and kleptomania.  Sometimes they ransack a business and bike away with all their stolen loot.  Emma Norman, Polk Street resident, exclaimed, "These bikers are worse than the Hell's Angels! They just stroll on in and act like they own the place!  If bike lanes are installed they'll just continue to loot and pillage this community!  Save the space for faster lanes and parking spaces for billionaires."

Some cop checking for cyclist prints, probably. 

Polk Street is such a wonderful place currently, that it even got the attention of billionaire Oprah Winfrey.  She even had one of her "Oprah Winfrey's Greatest Giveaways" on Polk Street which brought in more than 150 million dollars to the street in one day.  It was featured as one of the top 10 greatest moments on television.

"Look under your seats everyone, it's a key to your new Polk Street car!"

Warren Buffet stopped by a few months ago and explained, "I just love this street! The lack of pedestrian safety combined with tons of parking just make this a billionaire's dream come true.  If I see that they've taken away even one parking spot, or install a bike sharrow, that'll be the last you see my SUV and millions on Polk Street."

"I want to see a drive-thru on every block of Polk Street"

If we want to see less billionaires and more thieving bicyclists, then go ahead and install a bike lane, and improve so-called "pedestrian safety" and watch Polk Street go down the cyclist toilet.

SFMTA is at it Again!

Everyone knows the SFMTA hates cars and tries to encourage every other kind of transportation.  Their recent campaign clearly proves it.