Monday, December 22, 2014

Stockton Pedestrian Plaza Completely Ruins Holidays & Local Businesses

A teenager sneers at the AstroTurf and then tells his mom he wishes he was adopted
The Pedestrian Plaza was supposed to be all fun and games and a "relief from cars", but it's done nothing but tear apart families, ruin children's dreams, and tank the Disney, Apple and Ferrari stores.

Visitors from all parts of the world used to come to Stockton street to enjoy the three lanes of traffic forking out onto a pedestrian heavy market street.  Tourist's jaws dropped as they saw the green abomination.  One asked what happened to the "Detroitesque area near the clusterf*ck of cars around Union Square parking lot?"
"Where the hell is Stockton Street? What am I supposed to tell them huh? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM??!"
Jack, holding his two teary eyed children, exclaimed, "My two kids were so excited when I told them we would be in a car blasting down Stockton Street, and now we can't even do that?  They've been saving up their change for gas money and talked about it every day since July.  And now we come to this green AstroTurf nightmare? You ruined my children's Christmas, San Francisco."

Nothing says the holidays better than two ton machines coasting down towards Market Street!
The economic effects of the Pedestrian Plaza have rippled through downtown SF.  All the stores on Stockton never realized how much they rely on motorist pavement to sustain their businesses.  The Apple store now sees a few patrons every day.  The line of people waiting for the release of the iPhone 7 has completely dispersed. 


Apple store employees hoping to hear patrons and the rush car traffic again soon.
image found here
The damage has been so catastrophic that Apple and Farari stock has plummeted every day since the "Winter Wonderland" was installed.  Market analysts have been panning the stock which is now at "junk" status.  With company stock now worth pennies on the dollar, company board members are hoping they can at least recoup some profit, though they might likely break even with transaction costs.
Apple's stock was humming along just fine until the "Winter Wonderland" plaza was installed.  
The parent corporations have decided to shutter these locations in favor of new stores in upscale sprawl neighborhoods in Detroit and Las Vegas and Phoenix where free storefront parking is abundant.  Mayor Lee has since responded to the criticism and vowed to "Never thrust this car-less nightmare on the good people of San Francisco again."


Mayor Lee trying to console a angry mob of motorists who just want the good old days when you could weave around pedestrians and angrily look for free parking.

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