Monday, November 23, 2015

This Holiday Season MTA Reminds us to Tolerate Members of our "Transit Family"

The holiday season is upon us and cities across the country are reminding everyone to have compassion for their family this year, specifically those in their "transit family".  MTA spokesman said, "look everyone, we know vehicles may be loud, inconsiderate and reckless, but they have been part of our transit family for over a century.  At some point they'll take a swing at you, or belt out some insensitive racial slur. There will be tears and regret, but family is family, whether we like them or not." 

He's big, loud and going to break shit, but hey he's family and you can't abandon family on Christmas! 
Think of vehicles like that of a your selfish prick, Uncle Paul.  Every year you're in the middle of the holiday meal, basking in the glow of your loved ones and a meal that took all day to prepare when Uncle Paul barrels in, unannounced and unwelcomed yet again.  Doesn't he remember the fight you had about all that money he owes you for that pyramid scheme he roped you into?  Was he that blacked out when he backed into the Christmas tree, taking down your most prized ornaments and hope that 'this year will be different'? 

And yes, you don't want your grandparents or children anywhere near Uncle Paul aka "the swear uncle".  Remember when your niece Becky called him out for cheating at Monopoly?  Sure, he was totally in the wrong, but that didn't stop him from throwing his fist through the dry wall.  Do you really want to relive that nightmare again?  Just let him have his way, tell your children to avoid him, and maybe he wont horribly scar their childhood again.

Unavoidable facts of life.
Besides, Uncle Paul said that he's going to change, sometime around 2024 he's really going to get his act together.  You just have to give him time with his "Vision Zero F^ck Ups" plan, which is only about a decade away.  He's going to change, honest, so just shut up already!  So this holiday season, be sure to set a place for all those terrible members of your transit family, no matter how undeserving these ticking time bombs are. 

He's going to change, as soon as you lend him some money for his "eBay of revenge porn" business.