Friday, January 24, 2014

Lee's “Be Nice, Look Twice” Campaign Matched With "Look Over Your Shoulder, and Carry a Boulder"

In 2013, there was a near-record high of 21 pedestrian fatalities and 4 cyclist fatalities in San Francisco.  Mayor Lee announced his "Be Nice, Look Twice" campaign and he's received a lot of criticism for "pedestrian and cyclist blaming".  Shortly after, his advisers whipped up an equally worthy campaign, "Look Over Your Shoulder, and Carry a Boulder".

Preparing to walk through SF!
image found here.
"We know that pedestrians are the most vulnerable to cars, but they need to understand that people need to get from point A to B as quickly as possible, and even though they're driving a 2 ton vehicle with the potential for a high velocity collision, the pedestrian can be just as much to blame." said Lee's spokesman. He followed up with, "Cars are responsible for 66% of the accidents in the city, and that's why we we're trying to equal the playing field with cars, and encourage pedestrians to carry a boulder whenever possible".

Pedestrian hiding behind a boulder for dear life.
image found here
The boulder rules are similar to driving a car in the city.  As long as you don't intend on hurting anyone by carrying a boulder around, you won't be held accountable for any accidents.  Pedestrians are assured if they hurl a boulder into the middle of an intersection, so long as they weren't targeting anyone in particular it will be considered an inevitable fact of life in the city.

"Only two of the drivers responsible for fatalities faced any consequences, and the same will apply to boulder wielding pedestrians.
Image found here

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Restoring the Embarcadero Freeway

My dear car loving friends, some of you may not remember the glorious times automobiles had in San Francisco.  There was actually a time when a beautiful chunk of concrete separated the city from the waterfront and allowed a breathtaking view of asphalt and metal.  People even flocked to it when other methods of transit were available.  The Freeway was said to actually have bottlenecked, jammed up traffic and people crashed all over that bitch, but damn was it popular!

It's like two sublime grey snakes mating like gangbusters.
Image found here.  
Right after the freeway opened in 1958 it caused quite an uproar that the supervisors decided to never allow a masterpiece like this to ever be erected in San Francisco again.  I can only assume it was akin to having da Vinci create a work of art, only to reproduce it again.
Welcome to the raised progress hole!
image found here
In 1989, in what some people considered mother nature's attempt to shake the fuck out of the eyesore of the city, the Loma Prieta earthquake damaged parts of the Freeway.   Once it was torn down and a boulevard was put in it's place, 100,000 drivers were forced to either walk, bike, or take public transit.  Retail and merchants flocked to the area.  Huge commercial development have cropped up and increased by 51%.  Jobs have also shot up by 23%.  Other redevelopments like the old Ferry Building and Pier 1 have continued to change the waterfront.  But at what cost?!  Can we truly say that removing this monstrous concrete speedway was the right decision?  I, for one, can wholeheartedly say absolutely not, you idiot.  

The removal of the Embarcadero freeway was an obvious disaster, and current projects like redesigning the Masonic Freeway, will have similar effects.  Let's stop spending our money on bullshit projects that supposebly save people's lives and create an economic boon.  Let's continue to use city funds it to make sure that people can get from point A to point B in their private cars as quick as humanly possible. Restore the Embacardero Freeway!

Oh Embarcadero Freeway, you may be gone from San Francisco, but you're still in my dreams.
Image found here.