Thursday, December 11, 2014

Prop L Losers Seek Street Compromise: "Dig Pedestrian Tunnels Throughout SF"

How can we make pedestrians safer with two ton steel demons clogging the roads?  Prop T has a solution!
image found here.  
Former supporters of Prop L have been looking for areas to compromise with the large, overwhelming majority of people who want better transit and safer biking and walking in SF. Recently the group came up with an "innovative proposition" similar to Prop L that should appeal to everyone.  After a 30 minute discussion, the group came up with "Prop T: Tunnels for Pedestrians". Supporters claim it 'will help create a "network of pedestrian tunnels to scurry safely under the glut of angry motorist traffic in the city."

Motorist group proposes tunnels like this all around the city to "kindly get the hell out of our way"
image found here
One Prop T supporter said he understands the issues pedestrians have and that it's best if they get "swept under the rug of the city".  When asked about the high costs involved with pedestrian tunnels he cheerfully replied, "We can find considerable cost savings if we make the tunnels three feet high and barely lit.  The whole thing could cost a couple million dollars, or even less.  And isn't that a small price to pay for getting the hell out of motorist's way?" The group also thinks that "natural selection will work out the kinks" and pedestrian's spines, skin and eyes will eventually adapt to tunnels.  "Eventually they come to enjoy these tunnels, especially when we make it illegal for pedestrians to cross all above ground 'motorways'".

Eventually Pedestrian's spines, eyes and skin will adapt to the tunnels, allowing for future generations of pedestrian troglodytes to enjoy their new  found place in society.
image found here
When asked if pedestrians would accept this "compromise" one supporter said that Prop T was built on the same "brilliant and solid scientific methods that Prop L was built upon."   He went on to say, "Look, despite how motorists say we want Public Transit to get better, we're never actually going to take it. And all this striping of paint, bulb-outs and blinking lights?  We're still going to be assholes, so how about we just start digging tunnels for 'Non-motorists' and it will work out for everyone?"

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