SF Vision Zero to Crack Down on Most Dangerous Offenders: Pedestrians and Bicyclists

Which one of these is more dangerous in the eyes of the SFPD and Mayor Lee's "Vision Zero"?
Answer, ALL OF THEM

In what many cities across the country would consider at best "an abject exercise in futility" or at worst "a crime against humanity" the SFPD is ready to spend their limited time and resources to crack down on entitled bicyclists and stupid pedestrians that rob motorists of the experience promised in car ads. According to SFist, special enforcement periods of January 4th, 6th, 9th, 12th, 20th, 23rd and 31st. And even though the three pedestrian collisions this year involved people walking in a crosswalk, the SFPD is ready to crackdown on a auto-industry shame campaign term known as "jaywalking".  

According to SFPD's enforcement plan "Officers will cite for violations when pedestrians cross the street illegally or fail to yield to drivers who have the right of way. Bike riders will be stopped and citations issued when they fail to follow the same traffic laws that apply to motorists. All riders are reminded to always wear a helmet – those under 18 years of age must wear helmets by law. Pedestrians should cross the street only in marked crosswalks or at corners."



Missing from the report?  The countless number of of people killed by stop sign rolling bicyclists and distracted pedestrians.

When asked where these undisclosed areas were, the police captain said "well it certainly isn't going to be Valencia Street, SOMA or Golden Gate Park!  But, seriously we're looking for areas where it's clear that people on foot or on a bike bear the responsibility of their impact on the freedom of autos to move about the city unimpeded."


"Everyone plays a part in safety! AHAHAHAHA!!!"

Mayor Lee said, "it's great to see our mangled shame campaign version of Vision Zero in full swing!  We want to continue to enforce the idea that ~everyone plays a part~ in safety, from the innocent motorists who make mistakes, kill & maim people, down to the reckless bicyclists and pedestrians who theoretically have been killing themselves on motorist's cars.

The SFPD and Mayor hope they can follow the success of their pedestrian and bicyclist crackdowns and move towards preventing equally dangerous practices; such initiatives as cracking down on pea shooters and rubber band guns in SF.  One officer replied "We take great pride in the time honored tradition of picking on vulnerable minority groups in the name of safety."

Officer valiantly defending the city from reckless bicyclists on relatively slow, nimble, lightweight devices.

Pedestrian's Guide to Getting Along With Vehicles - Part II

Has this ever happened to you?  You're foolishly using your legs like a sucker, walking down a sidewalk and you find yourself basking in the glory of a car parked on the sidewalk?  Well fear not, pathetic pedestrian.  Here are a few simple tips that can help in these situations.

How fortunate were you to be reminded about your foolish decision to walk on a sidewalk?!
image found here, courtesy of Patrick Traughber

Step 1: Don't get angry.  While a metallic marvel resting on a sidewalk might not be your cup of tea, it's a very low level offense in the eyes of the law.   Retaliation in any form, like causing permanent damage to the car, could be considered a felony.  Don't even think about it!  Come to think of it, you should write an apology note just for contemplating such a thing, you monster.

A nice little note will go a long way to mending the rift you caused.

Step 2: When you're done writing a pleasant, self-effacing note, delicately post it on the car.  Throw in a few bucks as well for their troubles!  After that, simply walk around that steel beauty on the street, ever so slightly bowing your head in reverence and shame.

 

You are, quite simply, the worst.
image found here

Step 3: Once you passed your combustible, metal superior, find the nearest police station and turn yourself in for jaywalking.  You should be ashamed of yourself.

Walk over to the nearest SFPD station, like the Park(ing) Station Police Department and turn yourself in for being a filthy jaywalker.
image found here.

Having this kind of humility when it comes to traversing our city streets will go a long way to making  our cities better for motorists everyone.

Vision Zero: NYC Officer Dink McCallahan Commended for Putting Away 2500 Elderly Pedestrians

Vision Zero champion Joshua Vincek commended for ticketing over1,200 incredibly dangerous cyclists during a 38-month period when the entire precinct summonsed 331 drivers for benign speeding. Dink McCallihan has them all beat.
Source: Streetsblog

When people think of Vision Zero, naturally they think of putting a stop to some of the most reckless individuals on the streets, bikers.  Fortunately, the NYPD has Joshue Vincek, who ticketed over 1,200 bikers who undoubtedly cause the majority of deaths and injuries on NYC streets.  But Josh wasn't the only recipient of a coveted Vision Zero award.  Officer Dink McCallahan was also given an award for citing the worst offenders of all, the jaywalking elderly.

Dink McCallihan loading his "Vision Zero" gun to rid the streets of "reckless, elderly, pedestrians"
image found here 

"Dink is a testament to the city's commitment to stopping all the street terror wrought by pedestrians, especially the elderly.  Our citations aren't based on any statistics.  It's just whatever the motorist community complains about.  Putting away those jaywalking elderly pedestrians is just the tip of the iceberg really.  We hope that he can also find time to cite children playing in the streets, bikers without helmets, and really anyone who impinges upon a motorist's right to their god given street space.  It's the only way we'll decrease the 200 traffic related deaths in our fair city", Said the chief.

Just one of the countless pedestrians with complete and utter disregard for the safety and well-being of the citizens of New York City.  Gladys, you're going away for a long time.
image found here. 

While Paris has determined that bikers going thru some red lights causes no increase in injuries or deaths, and Idaho allows rolling stops, rest assured that NYPD will continue to stop the reckless terror wrought by pedestrians and bikers until they truly reach Vision Zero.