Cars - Golden Gate Park’s most cherished resource.
Anyone who goes into Golden Gate Park by foot or bike, immediately knows they don’t belong there. Last year a bicyclist even died in the park, and that’s why the SFMTA is ready to protect our most cherished San Franciscans - cars. So the mayor asked the SFMTA to devise a plan that does the bare minimum and keep cars driving and parking everywhere for free. The project’s goals can be found here.
SFMTA makes note of a person dying in Golden Gate Park as a reason why they’re willing to make tepid car-friendly changes to the park.
The SFMTA used index cards to collect all the potential ideas for Golden Gate Park improvements. Ideas included:
Remove free on-street parking
Manage and charge for parking
Install bike lanes on all park streets
Divert all through traffic to the 2 ARTERIAL roads surrounding the park
Limit speed to 15 mph
Triple traffic fines within the park
Once all the ideas were collected, they were thrown into a dumpster and set on fire.
The SFMTA then came up with “solutions” that wouldn’t impact motorists in the slightest, honored suburban style street design, and treated bicyclists and pedestrians like second class citizens.
The SFMTA proposes adding a smattering of paint, some signs, and maybe even a few raised crosswalks and blinking lights in a grand show of safety theater. Fortunately none of the proposed changes will do anything to reduce the amount of people driving and parking for free in the park.
If you want to thank the SFMTA, Mayor Ed Lee and Ed Reiskin for all their hard work keeping cars everywhere in the park, you can thank them by filling out their survey here.
We heard you don’t want cars in the park, but we’re putting cars in the park, because of cars.
Anyone who drives around NYC in a 2-ton metal box knows the sheer terror bicyclists brings to a dense city core. Not a day goes by without hearing about some victim who needed to go to the emergency room for “nearly hit” injuries.
Doctor looking over “nearly hit” patient’s x-ray, filled with unbroken bones and non-contusions.
With their small, light, nimble bikes propelled by their human bodies and sense of entitlement, bicyclists are a force to be reckoned with. Hospitals are filling up with “nearly missed” and “almost killed” victims by the minute. There aren’t enough hospital beds to hold everyone with theoretical injuries.
After hearing complaint after complaint from unscathed victims, NYC finally had enough and came up with an innovative approach to curing this hypothetical catastrophe.
Glen Sandstone, NYCDOT safety think tank leader explained, “We had to think to ourselves, what’s going to stop these reckless bicyclists from hitting people, falling over, getting up, mending their bones, fixing their bikes, and leaving?! That’s when we had an ‘eureka’ moment. Get these reckless bicyclists into cars!”
“Read the news and you won’t find much about motorists causing injury and death to people. If a motorists is even mentioned, usually it’s just an ‘accident’ anyway. So why not get these reckless bicyclists into cars where they’ll magically turn into patient, safety conscious, law abiding motorists?” said Glen.
The program is a simple yet a powerful tool in preventing bad bicyclist behavior by removing the source; eight pounds of aluminum and rubber. “We give bicyclists an option, you either pay the fine for rolling through a stop sign, or we exchange your bike for a 2-ton, 350 horsepower metal box. The results have been nothing short of extraordinary.”
Reckless, helmetless bicyclist gives up bike for SUV.
Model behavior exhibited once they’re put in a tinted 4-ton entertainment system.
“It’s like night and day. Once they connect with their fellow motoring community, they pick up all their responsible behaviors quickly. Former bicyclists now come to a complete stop at every single stop sign and always allow pedestrians the right of way. Don’t even get me started on stop lights! It’s as if there’s an invisible force field preventing their car from even entering a yellow light.
“The real reward is just that look in an ex-bicyclist’s face when they’re able to reconnect with humanity through the windshield of an extended cab truck”, Glen said with a tear in his eye.
Which one of these is more dangerous in the eyes of the SFPD and Mayor Lee's "Vision Zero"?
Answer, ALL OF THEM
In what many cities across the country would consider at best "an abject exercise in futility" or at worst "a crime against humanity" the SFPD is ready to spend their limited time and resources to crack down on entitled bicyclists and stupid pedestrians that rob motorists of the experience promised in car ads. According to SFist, special enforcement periods of January 4th, 6th, 9th, 12th, 20th, 23rd and 31st. And even though the three pedestrian collisions this year involved people walking in a crosswalk, the SFPD is ready to crackdown on a auto-industry shame campaign term known as "jaywalking".
According to SFPD's enforcement plan "Officers will cite for violations when pedestrians cross the street illegally or fail to yield to drivers who have the right of way. Bike riders will be stopped and citations issued when they fail to follow the same traffic laws that apply to motorists. All riders are reminded to always wear a helmet – those under 18 years of age must wear helmets by law. Pedestrians should cross the street only in marked crosswalks or at corners."
Missing from the report? The countless number of of people killed by stop sign rolling bicyclists and distracted pedestrians.
When asked where these undisclosed areas were, the police captain said "well it certainly isn't going to be Valencia Street, SOMA or Golden Gate Park! But, seriously we're looking for areas where it's clear that people on foot or on a bike bear the responsibility of their impact on the freedom of autos to move about the city unimpeded."
"Everyone plays a part in safety! AHAHAHAHA!!!"
Mayor Lee said, "it's great to see our mangled shame campaign version of Vision Zero in full swing! We want to continue to enforce the idea that ~everyone plays a part~ in safety, from the innocent motorists who make mistakes, kill & maim people, down to the reckless bicyclists and pedestrians who theoretically have been killing themselves on motorist's cars.
The SFPD and Mayor hope they can follow the success of their pedestrian and bicyclist crackdowns and move towards preventing equally dangerous practices; such initiatives as cracking down on pea shooters and rubber band guns in SF. One officer replied "We take great pride in the time honored tradition of picking on vulnerable minority groups in the name of safety."
Officer valiantly defending the city from reckless bicyclists on relatively slow, nimble, lightweight devices.
"Everyone plays a part in chainsaw safety, from the people wielding chainsaws, to the people scurrying in fear around chainsaws." image found here
A century honored tradition of wielding chainsaws in the city may soon come to an end if an anti-chainsaw measure passes in San Francisco, which bans chainsaws in the city altogether. The move has chainsaw enthusiasts and merchants alike fuming over such a measure.
Penny Southerland, longtime chainsaw aficianado, screamed, "The streets of San Francisco were made for chainsaws. They were here ever since I can remember! I can't believe someone would have the audacity to tell me I can't run around with my chainsaw in the city anymore. If people just watch where they're going, wear helmets & high-viz clothing, there won't be a problem. It's unfair to blame everyone with chainsaws for chainsaw injuries. Everyone plays a part in chainsaw safety."
Chainsaw merchants say it's only coincidence that people running through the city with chainsaws contributed to the uptick in chainsaw injuries & deaths.
But "anti-chainsaw" advocates see things differently and blame the increase in chainsaw deaths and injuries squarely on the people who have chainsaws. Teddy Wilshire exclaimed, "It's nuts that you would allow a dangerous piece of metal around the city. It's not just the danger posed by the swift moving blades. It's also the fumes that spew out from those metal death machines. Take your chainsaw into an area where there aren't a lot of people around. Why is it that crazy to think we can move through the city without chainsaws?"
Randy has been wielding a chainsaw on Market Street ever since he can remember, and he's not about to stop "just because some idiot hurts themself on my chainsaw." image found here
Randy Smith, head of the "San Francisco City Chainsaw League" said,"It's my God given right to juggle chainsaws while running through downtown. It's my preferred method of travel. People just need to make sure to educate themselves and their children to watch for people with chainsaws. It's about mutual respect. Besides, if you don't want someone coming at you with a chainsaw, travel around with a chainsaw, for safety."
City officials have been reluctant to ban chainsaws in the city outright, and opted for signs and paint to help designate chainsaw and non-chainsaw zones. They've also started campaigns to educate people about the importance of safety near people who are operating chainsaws. SF's chainsaw safety czar said, "it's really about how to place legal blame on people who hurt others with a chainsaw, and the people who hurt themselves on someone's chainsaw. The city also started a "Vision Zero" campaign to end all chainsaw deaths by 2024.
Signs, paint and lights will help delineate between someone 'accidentally' being struck by a chainsaw, and those who were distracted and simply "asking for it". image found here
San Francisco, CA — There have been seven deaths this year compared with just one during the first 10 weeks of 2015, and seven during the same period in 2014. After months and months of street carnage, Mayor Lee finally reiterated the City of San Francisco’s commitment to only talk about ending traffic fatalities and begged the public to be nicer to vulnerable road users.
“Our community is committed to look like we’re achieving Vision Zero by placing signs, painting lines, and begging the hordes of SF drivers to follow laws with few real penalties,” said Mayor Lee, who oversees the San Francisco Police Department. “The slew of tragedies remind us that we have no rules in place to prevent these fatalities from happening, or substantially penalizing motorists when they do happen, and that we’re perfectly okay with that. We’ll put up bigger signs, more infrastructure that relies on enforcement and motorists to behave, and that will suffice.”
Market Street where red lights are simply no-no's.
The City of San Francisco has pretended to be committed to Vision Zero, adopting the goal of ending traffic fatalities and serious injuries. Our unique Vision Zero approach says that if we add signs, paint lines around San Francisco's street freeways, it's all going to work out. We’ll also continue to enshrine free & cheap parking as we continue to feel like we’re doing something great without sabotaging our political relationships with merchants and religious organizations.
Saturday & Sunday "Vision Zero" double parking.
Lee had no further comment before scurrying back into his office away from the public, only stating, “It’s getting tougher to fool the city into thinking we actually care about Vision Zero when the fatality count continues to climb and we turn a blind eye to things like Sunday (and now Saturday) double parking, but we have a few more tricks up our sleeves and we’ll be getting to work on that soon.”
Mayor Lee and the SFPD on little toys not meant to be considered legitimate forms of transportation. Photo: Aaron Bialick
Mayor Lee has been throwing a bone to the bike weirdos for some time now, with a smattering of disjointed bike infrastructure here and there and giving words of consolation whenever a biker or pedestrian meets their untimely end. He even bikes every year in front of cameras! He's now asking bikers to do what he cannot, take biking more seriously, mainly in the name of parking, parking, parking, and then safety. The mayor made a brief announcement regarding his recent veto threat of the Idaho Yield Law, where bikers rolling through stop signs with their nimble, lightweight vehicles, would be deemed less important than motorists speeding, running red lights, or violating pedestrian's right-of-way.
The mayor then urged bikers to take biking far more serious than he ever has.
Mayor Lee's private "Safety Wagon" Perfect for navigating approximately 50 square miles of city. image found here.
Biking is a priority (second, or third to car storage)
"Biking has its place, and that's usually next to car storage. If we can wedge in a bike lane between some parked cars, we'll probably do it, or not. Also, parking is so important that I removed "nickle and diming" motorists on Sunday, because there's nothing worse than having to pay to park your car on a Sunday. You can now drive and circle around for parking to your heart's content! Don't worry, Muni and Bay Area Bike Share users, your trips still cost the same on Sundays! I'm all for 'balanced streets' where the safety of a bike lane is met with the parking of my optometrist."
Cars can and will always be found on virtually every road in all of San Francisco, even in our urban parks, like Golden Gate Park! Market Street will always have tons of cars, but they're kind of diverted now. Sorry about that, motorists! You got most of what you wanted with Polk Street though! *wink *wink"
Laws apply to ALL vehicles.
"I mean, not that many of the traffic laws are really upheld that much anyway, but they apply equally to every vehicle. Even if it's a 3000 pound truck or a seven pound carbon frame with a 150 pounds resting on it. It's exactly the same in the eyes of our traffic laws. Listen to our officers when they say that you should make a complete stop, or put your foot down, or not put your foot down, or maybe you can roll through? Eh, semantics. We care about you bikers enough by lumping you all into the same bucket for safety or whatever. I won't stop another great use of SFPD resources and time to start another bike crackdown. I didn't before and I will didn't again. Oh and by the way, "Focus on Five" really isn't much a demand. If the SFPD does it that's fine, if not, well we kind of tried."
Do these look the same? Well to the law it does! It's for your own good probably.
As Mayor Lee left he told bikers to "take those toys of yours seriously" and reiterated his stance that he is "not willing to trade away safety for convenience.” Lee then got into his private chauffeured car, and drove off."
Doesn't matter if you're a texting pedestrian, biker rolling through a stop sign, or a person in a 2 ton pickup speeding through red lights. Smiley Robinson and his clown van will find and SHAME YOU! image found here and here
The streets of San Francisco were rightly designed to move and store cars on every street, along with afterthought sidewalks and the smattering of bike lanes here and there. Every day, at least 3 people are hit by cars while walking and pedestrians make up over 50% of all traffic fatalities, four times the national average. San Francisco's data, as part of Vision Zero, have uncovered that most of the injury and death is allegedly caused by:
drivers speeding
running red lights
running stop signs
violating pedestrians’ right-of-way in crosswalks
failing to yield to pedestrians while turning
But it certainly doesn't hurt to pepper in a little victim blaming now and then to give motorists some sense of relief that their behaviors are on par with that of bikers and pedestrians. And that's why so many people love Smiley Robinson, a clown that drives around in van, recording stranger's naughty transit habits to give his TV viewers a "balanced" view of what accounts for all the death and injury on the roads. Many of the offenders on Smiley's "People behaving Naughtily" show smile and say "you caught me being naughty, Smiley!" and laugh at their deadly behaviors to the chagrin of the viewers.
Naughty behavior is all around us, from bikers rolling through stop signs, jaywalkers, motorists impinging upon other's right of way, to cars blasting into each other at high velocities images found here, here, here and here.
Smiley's program helps everyone build their own anecdata based conclusions on why people meet their doom on streets that weren't designed for non-motorized transit. Motorists can feel like they are are often the true victims of pedestrians & biker's impatient and suicidal ways.
"Oh yeah I love Smiley, said one motorist. We really get a kick out of that clown busting people on the streets doing stupid things. Admittedly, I text while driving and never abide by the speed limit, but then I see that clown's show I think, 'look at all those distracted pedestrians and that biker on the sidewalk. They're just as bad as me!' I can sleep a little more soundly at night knowing that some of those people had it coming." Smiley admittedly doesn't choose favorites and everyone can be an equal opportunity offender.
Smiley's recent month long attention to naughty bike behavior in San Francisco which he has chocked up to an angered "cycling community". People have argued that bikers not abiding to laws designed for motorized vehicles has led to an insignificant fraction of the 4,735 pedestrian deaths and 66,000 reported pedestrian injuries and was undeserving of such attention. That hasn't stopped Smiley's viewers from building anecdote fueled rage at these scofflaw bikers and threatening violence against them. Although the clown has said this retaliation against bikers makes him sad (*cue slide-whistle*).
According to Vision Zero SF, 41 percent of all pedestrian related crashes take place in a crosswalk, and Smiley urges everyone to make sure they are in a crosswalk, because, well, that's the law. The 1 in 4 patients at San Francisco General Hospital’s trauma center who are people hit by cars while walking can take comfort in the fact that they weren't naughtily breaking the law when they were struck by vehicles.
Smiley catches people texting and walking through car dominated streets. Doesn't it just grind your gears you when you see this kind of naughty behavior. They're just asking for trouble! image found here
Thanks to Smiley, we can all have a good heathy chuckle at our naughty behaviors, regardless of whether they could cause harm to ourselves or wipe out an entire family in the blink of an eye. This clown's strict, unquestioning and religious adherence to traffic laws is certain to make our city streets safer for everyone.
According to community complaints, riding a bike is a nonstatistic danger to pedestrians and needs to be curbed with police resources and time. image found here.
Everyone knows that in order to reach Vision Zero, police must treat community complaints as statistics and respond accordingly. At a recent SFPD Park Station community meeting, the station was told that they should focus more resources and time on "reckless bikers" who endanger the lives of pedestrians, or themselves, or whatever they're basically-the-same-thing-don'tthinkaboutittoomuch.
The police vow to crack down on least frequent causes of pedestrian injury. Less likely than "tripped on a stone" or "stepped in a hole". image found here.
The SFPD checked the 2013 Pedestrian and Bicyclist Crash Statistics which reported 66,000 pedestrian injuries in 2013; nearly one injury every eight minutes. They found that of the the top six sources of injury, "reckless bikers" was oddly missing from the statistics. Given that the complaints from the community were critically important, they could only deduce that the smallest, nil, to potentially magical sources of injury, should be given far more attention.
The Police department started cracking down on the most infrequent and unlisted causes of pedestrian injury.
Piggy-back ride contests
Zipping up your pants while walking
Racing stray cats
Walking with three of your best friends, arm in arm, reciting the lyrics from The Wizard of Oz
Crocs
In addition to the "crackdown", pedestrians are also being encouraged by the police to stay inside the house at all times if possible, crawl on the sidewalk with a helmet, or better yet, just drive a car.
Maybe you'll think differently about wearing Crocs next time, Larry. image found here.
Vision Zero champion Joshua Vincek commended for ticketing over1,200 incredibly dangerous cyclists during a 38-month period when the entire precinct summonsed 331 drivers for benign speeding. Dink McCallihan has them all beat. Source: Streetsblog
When people think of Vision Zero, naturally they think of putting a stop to some of the most reckless individuals on the streets, bikers. Fortunately, the NYPD has Joshue Vincek, who ticketed over 1,200 bikers who undoubtedly cause the majority of deaths and injuries on NYC streets. But Josh wasn't the only recipient of a coveted Vision Zero award. Officer Dink McCallahan was also given an award for citing the worst offenders of all, the jaywalking elderly.
Dink McCallihan loading his "Vision Zero" gun to rid the streets of "reckless, elderly, pedestrians" image found here
"Dink is a testament to the city's commitment to stopping all the street terror wrought by pedestrians, especially the elderly. Our citations aren't based on any statistics. It's just whatever the motorist community complains about. Putting away those jaywalking elderly pedestrians is just the tip of the iceberg really. We hope that he can also find time to cite children playing in the streets, bikers without helmets, and really anyone who impinges upon a motorist's right to their god given street space. It's the only way we'll decrease the 200 traffic related deaths in our fair city", Said the chief.
Just one of the countless pedestrians with complete and utter disregard for the safety and well-being of the citizens of New York City. Gladys, you're going away for a long time. image found here.
While Paris has determined that bikers going thru some red lights causes no increase in injuries or deaths, and Idaho allows rolling stops, rest assured that NYPD will continue to stop the reckless terror wrought by pedestrians and bikers until they truly reach Vision Zero.
Bulbouts and wide sidewalks, probably behind this massive firetruck wedged between parked cars, are the biggest obstacles to public safety. Image: KTVU
A contentious meeting took place in North Beach yesterday as crusty residents and firefighter unions opposed "basic street safety measures" and asserted that that sidewalk bulb-outs are dangerous. To appease Skeksis skeptics, the SFMTA will instead install painted "safety zones" on intersections along Columbus avenue. Construction of concrete versions could begin next year, but undoubtedly won't, due to the screams of car loving opponents.
You would be a stone-cold idiot if you were to try and ignore the thousands of years of experience bestowed to us by the firefighter's union - on-street car storage is 1000% safer than bulb-outs and bike lanes.
At first glance the average person may think that bulb-outs, with their six inch raised curbs, are benign and wouldn't cause any issues to firetrucks moving about the city. Bulb-outs typically replace on-street stored cars and supposedly have been shown to decrease the number of injuries between vehicles and pedestrians. But Zero Vision derived requests like bulb-outs, bike lanes and 12 foot streets are a non-starter for the centuries old quorum of firefighters, which referred back to ancient fire codes created in the suburbs of Texas for guidance.
Ancient firefighter's union halfheartedly listening to the pleas for slimmer streets and bulbouts from pedestrians & bikers Image found here.
The bulb-outs “being proposed for Columbus Avenue are not that scary,” said D3 Supervisor Julie Christensen, who got the SFMTA to install trial painted lanes to pacify the squawking SFFD Union & car loving neighborhood associations. The San Francisco Firefighter's union still reserves the right to redesign any pedestrian and bike "friendly" street design. On-street parking & hordes of vehicles on the streets has never been mentioned as problem for the firefighter's union.
Bike lanes like this can seriously delay a firetruck, whereas the left on-street car storage side is a fireman's safety dream come true. image found here.
The Firefighter's Union not only blames bulb-outs, but insist that bike lanes and extended crosswalks hurt response times, so on-street car parking up to the curbs of crosswalks should remain the standard. This sentiment was echoed by North Beach Neighbors President Trish Herman who believes the rising tide of bike lanes and wide sidewalks can clearly impinge upon the ability for firefighters to do their jobs. Not only that, Trish bellowed that removing on-street car storage is not "considering the vehicle public."
North Beach Neighbors President Trish Herman screaming her case against more sidewalk space, and for more on-street car storage for the "vehicle public". image found here
Not everyone shares the views of the firefighters union and other members of the vehicle loving public. Some people like Tony Wessling, a street safety advocate in North Beach said, “It makes no sense to design the city around the fire equipment. It makes better sense to design the fire equipment around the city.” At that point the ancient firefighter's union swarmed around Tony and devoured him, for safety.
Why use small, nimble vehicles like other countries to navigate smaller streets when you can simply maintain archaic street configurations with plenty of on-street car storage? image found here.
SFMTA Board of Directors hearing crazy stories about the 85% of people who get to Polk Street without a two ton machine that runs on dinosaur juice. image via Fitz The Reporter
On March 3rd at City Hall, the Board of Directors were rattled when they had to face the idea that San Francisco might not be a sprawling suburb. Mayor Lee's political buffer was tasked with deciding if one street, in all of San Francisco, wouldn't have car storage. As citizens weighed in on the plan for the 8 millionth time in 3 years, the Board of Directors got mixed signals that perhaps, just perhaps, San Francisco was actually a compact pedestrian-rich, multimodal city.
SF Board of Directors passed a "Bike Improvements" that any suburb would be moderately proud of! image found here.
What started as a complete Vision Zero style street with buffered bike lanes and priorities to movement other than cars, it soon devolved into a bike plan suburbia could find appealing. The Board of Directors heard horror stories that people might lose their way of life if forced to park on the 99.999999% of other street in SF that have car storage.
One person complained,"I'm too obese to bike" and went on to say that her husband also can't walk but oddly can't get a disability placard. There was also a concern for the elderly and other groups of people who should control tons of metal at high speed but are incapable of walking 2 blocks or taking the bus. The Board of Directors sympathized for those who lived in the compact city of San Francisco, but couldn't operate outside of the single driver and parking paradigm.
“I’m not saying other things aren't important, because clearly they are — safety is paramount,”said Gwyneth Borden ,"but we cannot forget what makes San Francisco San Suburbcisco —slogs of parking on the roads and tons of motorist traffic.” Gwyneth Borden. Image: SFGovTV
The Board of Directors fulfilled their duty as a political buffer between Mayor Lee and the public continued to listen for four hours. They made sure to be silent for a few seconds when a death or injury was mentioned and then quickly moved back to parking concerns. They knew they could could take comfort in the fact that the mayor had already made backroom deals with many of the merchants, thus solidifying a bike plan on the simple premise that parking belongs on every single street of San Suburbscisco. Fortunately, the initial bike plan was whittled away by a favor to his optometrist who got one free block of bike lane removal. His gardener also gets to veto one of the crosswalks, and his mustache groomer received six blocks at a 55 mph speed limit.
Ultimately the Board of Directors approved a "Solomon Solution"which strikes a balance between the people getting hurt and killed on the street with the convenience of those doing the maiming. Once the plan was approved, the Board of Directors jumped in their private automobiles and skidded back home, congratulating themselves on a job that any car dependent suburb would be proud of.
What do these streets in Portland, New York, Seattle all have in common? They're things you'll never see on Polk Street.
Mayor Lee's 13th time at the optometrist to seek "balanced eyewear" that "everyone will like." image found here.
As mayor of San Francisco, Lee has a lot of important decisions to leave to others, and eyewear is no different. As Lee's personal driver parked into one Drs. Hiura & Hiura Optometrists god given parking spots (devoid of dedicated bike lanes) he said, “Everyone else is the expert. There's so many issues to balance when it comes to choosing eyewear, and I just want to make sure I embrace a decision that I had nothing to do with.”
Some people argued that Mayor Lee is wasting everyone's time as he already agreed to a standard eyewear design long ago and even touted it in many of his speeches. He promised long ago he would prioritize the safety of the eyewear above anything else. Others argued, "Look, you can't have everything in one pair of glasses here, and you're going to have to make a decision. Not everyone is going to be happy and as the mayor you need to accept that. Just pick the one that's the safest! Stop being a non-mayor, mayor!"
With the advice of everyone, especially those having tantrums, Mayor Lee is leaning towards the "Zero-Vision" model.
There was an audible gasp at the eyewear unveiling. Some people questioned if he really thought the safety was the number one priority. Others said that that an eyeglasses company kept calling his office and lobbying him to demand for a different prescription and so he had it changed. When asked about his opinion on the glasses, Mayor Lee explained,"I can’t have a particular position on which eyeglasses I want, except to endorse the most balanced approach because there’s issues with prescription, design and safety that should not be in conflict. We shouldn't promote the prescription strength over aesthetics or whatever the loud constituents want. I think they’re all going to be important." People started scratching their heads when they heard the mayor's "word soup."
As the mayor left the optometrist and dashed into his free chauffeured car, he said, "I can't comment right now on the eyewear design. All I know is I'm sure as hell not getting here by riding Muni or biking. That's for photo ops."
When you have vision problems, make sure to drive on over to Drs. Hiura & Hiura Optometrists. Park in one of the few spots that sustains all of their business.
"Accidents happen. If only there was something we could do. Oh, we can? No thanks. " - Save Polk Street image courtesy of Folks for Polk
With its slog of parking spaces and wide speed lanes, Polk Street has been a Detroit dream for decades. It's enough to make the Michelin Man weep with joy. An average of 2-3 ped/cyclist are struck per month, making it one of the 6% of SF corridors classified as "high-injury". Some people like Folks for Polks argue that since 85% of people get to Polk Street through transit, walking, or biking that they shouldn't have to suffer the wrath of the 15% of motorists that blow through it.
A group crowds around an injured person to explain why parking is so critical to Polk Street's 15%
image courtesy of Folks for Polk
The Save Polk Street Crowd has been fuming at the idea of losing 18% of parking spots on Polk Street, but perfectly comfortable losing human life. The livid crowd would discuss revenue losses that have yet to happen on more equitable streets. People like Folks for Polk have argued that revenue increases on streets that actually cater to people's safety and well-being. They have also argued that building a bike lane not only promotes safe biking but it also slows down cars which also saves pedestrians from injury and death. The Save Polk crowd said logic has no place when it comes to parking a car.
Dawn Trennert looking insanely receptive to the safety concerns of the 85% of people who get to Polk by mass transit, walking or biking
Image courtesy of Folks for Polk https://twitter.com/FolksForPolk
During a Final final final final Polk Street redesign project, a SFMTA representative broke down and allegedly (*wink *wink) asked the "Save Polk Street" group, "So are you all just comfortable with a street that WILL eventually kill people?"
Save Polk Crowd - *silence*
SFMTA - "Come on we're all trying to skirt around this question. Now do you want a design that is safe for everyone?"
S.P.C. - "Yes, of course do"
SFMTA - "ok so we remove about 18% of the parking only along Polk. You'll still have ALL the parking on every side street, adjacent street, and in the underutilized parking garages"
S.P.C. - "Noooooooo!!! We need that parking!"
SFMTA - "You JUST said you want safe streets."
S.F.C. - "Absolutely, but don't remove this parking"
SFMTA - "We're not magicians. You can't have a complete street where everyone is safe with this level of parking."
S.F.C. - *dead silence* *cough* *mumbling* "Well we don't really know if someone will die, right?"
SFMTA - "I can assure you that it's a statistical certainty. It happens every year or more."
S.F.C - "but we don't know who it would be or when, right?"
SFMTA - "Is that comforting to you?"
S.F.C. - *silence*
SFMTA - "Well this has been a shitshow. I hope to never see you harbingers of death again."
The SFMTA representative left along with their faith in humanity.
Save Polk Street skirting around safety issues and focusing on more pressing factors of driving your car to your business and parking right in front of it.
Video courtesy of folks@folksforpolk.org
Folks for Polk continues to try to draw attention to the deaths and injuries on this corridor that will undoubtedly happen again. They will continue to be met with dead eyes, blank stares and angry chants from the Save Polk Street crowd that refuse to acknowledge simple statistics, physics and geometry. Save Polk recently focused their attention on the Van Ness BRT in hopes to keep that a car clogged nightmare to promote business as well. So far the city of SF has been very receptive to the parking wishes of the Save Polk street even if it collides with their Vision Zero campaign.
"Save a sliver of parking for a few broken pedestrians and cyclists every year so we can park in front of our business? I guess that's just the price we have to pay" - Save Polk Street Image found here
