Monday, March 2, 2015

Vision Impaired Mayor Lee Still Seeking "Balanced Eyewear"

Mayor Lee's 13th time at the optometrist to seek "balanced eyewear" that "everyone will like."
image found here
As mayor of San Francisco, Lee has a lot of important decisions to leave to others, and eyewear is no different.  As Lee's personal driver parked into one Drs. Hiura & Hiura Optometrists god given parking spots (devoid of dedicated bike lanes) he said, “Everyone else is the expert. There's so many issues to balance when it comes to choosing eyewear, and I just want to make sure I embrace a decision that I had nothing to do with.”

Some people argued that Mayor Lee is wasting everyone's time as he already agreed to a standard eyewear design long ago and even touted it in many of his speeches.  He promised long ago he would  prioritize the safety of the eyewear above anything else.  Others argued, "Look, you can't have everything in one pair of glasses here, and you're going to have to make a decision. Not everyone is going to be happy and as the mayor you need to accept that. Just pick the one that's the safest!  Stop being a non-mayor, mayor!"

With the advice of everyone, especially those having tantrums, Mayor Lee is leaning towards the "Zero-Vision" model.  
There was an audible gasp at the eyewear unveiling.  Some people questioned if he really thought the safety was the number one priority.  Others said that that an eyeglasses company kept calling his office and lobbying him to demand for a different prescription and so he had it changed. When asked about his opinion on the glasses, Mayor Lee explained,"I can’t have a particular position on which eyeglasses I want, except to endorse the most balanced approach because there’s issues with prescription, design and safety that should not be in conflict. We shouldn't promote the prescription strength over aesthetics or whatever the loud constituents want.  I think they’re all going to be important."  People started scratching their heads when they heard the mayor's "word soup."

As the mayor left the optometrist and dashed into his free chauffeured car, he said, "I can't comment right now on the eyewear design.  All I know is I'm sure as hell not getting here by riding Muni or biking. That's for photo ops."

When you have vision problems, make sure to drive on over to Drs. Hiura & Hiura Optometrists.  Park in one of the few spots that sustains all of their business.  

1 comment:

  1. Excellent piece but you omitted the Mayor's statement, 'It turns out fish really do need bicycles. Or is it bifocals? Anyway, they lack vision and run red lights. So come November, #PutAHelmetOnIt will be on the ballot!"