Mayor Lee Urges Bikers to Take Biking More Seriously Than he Does

Mayor Lee and the SFPD on little toys not meant to be considered legitimate forms of transportation.
Photo: Aaron Bialick

Mayor Lee has been throwing a bone to the bike weirdos for some time now, with a smattering of disjointed bike infrastructure here and there and giving words of consolation whenever a biker or pedestrian meets their untimely end.  He even bikes every year in front of cameras!  He's now asking bikers to do what he cannot, take biking more seriously, mainly in the name of parking, parking, parking, and then safety.  The mayor made a brief announcement regarding his recent veto threat of the Idaho Yield Law, where bikers rolling through stop signs with their nimble, lightweight vehicles, would be deemed less important than motorists speeding, running red lights, or violating pedestrian's right-of-way.

The mayor then urged bikers to take biking far more serious than he ever has.

Mayor Lee's private "Safety Wagon" Perfect for navigating approximately 50 square miles of city.
image found here.

Biking is a priority (second, or third to car storage)  

"Biking has its place, and that's usually next to car storage.  If we can wedge in a bike lane between some parked cars, we'll probably do it, or not.  Also, parking is so important that I removed "nickle and diming" motorists on Sunday, because there's nothing worse than having to pay to park your car on a Sunday. You can now drive and circle around for parking to your heart's content!  Don't worry, Muni and Bay Area Bike Share users, your trips still cost the same on Sundays!  I'm all for 'balanced streets' where the safety of a bike lane is met with the parking of my optometrist."

Cars can and will always be  found on virtually every road in all of San Francisco, even in our urban parks, like Golden Gate Park!  Market Street will always have tons of cars, but they're kind of diverted now. Sorry about that, motorists!  You got most of what you wanted with Polk Street though! *wink *wink"

Laws apply to ALL vehicles.

"I mean, not that many of the traffic laws are really upheld that much anyway, but they apply equally to every vehicle.  Even if it's a 3000 pound truck or a seven pound carbon frame with a 150 pounds resting on it.  It's exactly the same in the eyes of our traffic laws.  Listen to our officers when they say that you should make a complete stop, or put your foot down, or not put your foot down, or maybe you can roll through?  Eh, semantics. We care about you bikers enough by lumping you all into the same bucket for safety or whatever.  I won't stop another great use of SFPD resources and time to start another bike crackdown.  I didn't before and I will didn't again.  Oh and by the way, "Focus on Five" really isn't much a demand.  If the SFPD does it that's fine, if not, well we kind of tried."

Do these look the same?  Well to the law it does!  It's for your own good probably.

As Mayor Lee left he told bikers to "take those toys of yours seriously" and reiterated his stance that he is "not willing to trade away safety for convenience.”  Lee then got into his private chauffeured car, and drove off."  

Bikers May Finally Get Their Ultimate Wish - A License to Murder Everyone

Whiney, entitled, bikers have a laundry list of things they want.  If it's not something like a 3 foot buffer law to save their lives from cars, it's an unbroken network of bike lanes in the city.  More recently, after the SFPD Park Station ~probably~ saved dozens of lives in a series of bike crackdowns, bikers were up in arms.  The bikers made outlandish claims that somehow cracking down on their 20 pound bikes, going at relatively slow speeds, shouldn't be on the SFPD's radar and that it accomplished nothing in the way of public safety.

The six Supervisors who want to quench biker's thirst for blood.

Tomorrow the Board of Supervisors is set to vote on an ordinance that "urges the SFPD to let bicycle riders safely treat stop signs as yield signs".  Supervisor Avalos introduced the legislation.  He stated, "In essence, it would legitimize the safe, practical way that people on bikes normally treat stop signs, which has been legal in Idaho for 32 years."  In other words, bikers would get their deep-seated wish to have a LICENSE TO KILL!

Bikers all over the city were thrilled at this news.  Veronica, biking with her child Angie, was overjoyed.  She said, "It's wonderful that I can spend some quality time with my daughter, rampaging through the city with absolutely no regard for anyone's well-being or safety, which is really what all us bikers wanted all along.  Veronica and her little psychopath in training were heading down to the Zoo to see the baby penguins, and "mow down as many people as humanly possible."  

Veronica & her child Angie, enjoying a leisurely Sunday ride & TRAIL OF TERROR.
image found here.

Mike Haven's response to the news was one of elation and then quickly followed with a maniacal laugh.  "It's going to be a great day once this ordinance passes and we can finally rule the roads in terror!"  Mike told us he was ready to tear around in his 7 pound carbon framed "murder machine" taking out pedestrians left and right, with no legal or moral compass to hold him back anymore.

Places like Paris, which have not only allowed bikers to skirt through stop signs, but also red lights, is most likely a hellish nightmare of death and destruction.

Whats left of Paris, since bikers can flagrently blow through red lights and stop signs, probably.
image found here