Monday, September 21, 2015

Bikers May Finally Get Their Ultimate Wish - A License to Murder Everyone

Whiney, entitled, bikers have a laundry list of things they want.  If it's not something like a 3 foot buffer law to save their lives from cars, it's an unbroken network of bike lanes in the city.  More recently, after the SFPD Park Station ~probably~ saved dozens of lives in a series of bike crackdowns, bikers were up in arms.  The bikers made outlandish claims that somehow cracking down on their 20 pound bikes, going at relatively slow speeds, shouldn't be on the SFPD's radar and that it accomplished nothing in the way of public safety.

The six Supervisors who want to quench biker's thirst for blood.
Tomorrow the Board of Supervisors is set to vote on an ordinance that "urges the SFPD to let bicycle riders safely treat stop signs as yield signs".  Supervisor Avalos introduced the legislation.  He stated, "In essence, it would legitimize the safe, practical way that people on bikes normally treat stop signs, which has been legal in Idaho for 32 years."  In other words, bikers would get their deep-seated wish to have a LICENSE TO KILL!

Bikers all over the city were thrilled at this news.  Veronica, biking with her child Angie, was overjoyed.  She said, "It's wonderful that I can spend some quality time with my daughter, rampaging through the city with absolutely no regard for anyone's well-being or safety, which is really what all us bikers wanted all along.  Veronica and her little psychopath in training were heading down to the Zoo to see the baby penguins, and "mow down as many people as humanly possible."  

Veronica & her child Angie, enjoying a leisurely Sunday ride & TRAIL OF TERROR.
image found here.
Mike Haven's response to the news was one of elation and then quickly followed with a maniacal laugh.  "It's going to be a great day once this ordinance passes and we can finally rule the roads in terror!"  Mike told us he was ready to tear around in his 7 pound carbon framed "murder machine" taking out pedestrians left and right, with no legal or moral compass to hold him back anymore.

Places like Paris, which have not only allowed bikers to skirt through stop signs, but also red lights, is most likely a hellish nightmare of death and destruction.

Whats left of Paris, since bikers can flagrently blow through red lights and stop signs, probably.
image found here  

1 comment:

  1. Thank you, Mr. Bob Gunderson. I am very afraid about the direction our city is moving in. There is so much recklessness and danger on our streets today, with so many scofflaw two wheeled lunatics. I fear for my life now and long for the days when more people drove and bicycles were reserved for kids to ride on the sidewalk. It's terrible how things have changed. With the drought and the ice caps melting and entitled cyclists thinking they own the streets. I'm not sure what's worse, California's drought or a**hole cyclists.