Save Masonic Group Missed Six Years of Community Meetings - Claims "We Thought it was a Freeway"

"It looks so much like a freeway we didn't think to attend a meeting about an Avenue."  
picture on the left here. picture on the right found here.  

The folks at Save(Parking and Speeding on)Masonic  are outraged over the recent approved plans to redesign Masonic Avenue.  Even though in the last five years, 122 people have been injured and two people killed, just on 2/3 of a mile of Masonic, the group fervently believe this safety claim is bogus.  But their biggest issue is that they were not notified about the changes over the last six years, somehow.

Many of them simply didn't believe Masonic was a Avenue.  Glenda Delli exclaimed, "I always thought Masonic was a freeway with tons of free parking.  They should have done a better job of letting us know about this.  Keep this Freeway, I mean Avenue, alone!!!"

"We thought this speed limit sign was a joke"
Image found here. 

Save (Parking and Speeding) on Masonic feel they were bamboozled and the SFMTA owes them an explanation.  Matt Thomas said, "Look at all those cars going above 40 miles an hour, some even hitting 60.  Why would anyone in the neighborhood think this was an Avenue?"

SPASOM spokesman said, "tons of people speed through this corridor every day and they weren't given any way to vote on this.  Democracy is the only way to ever change a corridor.  Why should the SFMTA have the right to make these changes?"  When thousands of Masonic commuters were asked for comment, they just blasted by honking their horns encouraging others to go faster.

"Three lanes of car traffic in both directions going 50 miles an hour is NOT an Avenue.  SAVE IT!!!"

When SPASOM was asked why they thought an important corridor with tons of rushing cars would have parking on both sides, they stopped for a moment and replied, "go to hell."

Market Street to be Renamed "Gauntlet Street"

"It's just easier to rename Market Street than change it"

Photo found here.

As anyone who bikes, walks, takes public transit, or drives (which is kind of banned) can attest, Market street is THE WORST.  This century old street has become an absolute nightmare, although some claim that removing car traffic has made it mildly less awful (which is NEVER the case).  There's a plan in the works to change this corridor by making "Market Street the signature sustainable street in San Francisco and the Bay Area by creating a memorable and active identity, with gathering spaces, the ability to promenade, and a vibrant public life." which will happen in 2000NEVER. 

The plan would have to go through 100 agencies, 70 surveys, focus groups, all the supervisors and their relatives, then finally through the necessary 80 environmental reviews.  Once that all happens it can finally get struck down by NIMBYs who will never give up car traffic lanes over bikes, pedestrian amenities,  or public transportation.  Eventually when the Market Street project was overwhelmed and they decided to simply rename it to "Gauntlet Street". 

"A Gauntlet is a form of physical punishment where a captive is to run between two rows. It's exactly the kind of experience you should expect biking or walking along Market Street."

Picture found here

Kim Gathers explains, "Getting anything done in this city is just a nightmare. We know no matter how much outreach we do there's going to be a lawsuit by someone claiming they didn't know about this project. This is especially true when it comes to anything involving removing a parking spot or a traffic lane. It's just easier to rename it to Gauntlet Street so people know that it's a shit show and you're going to have an awful time no matter what kind of vehicle you're in. It's going to be terrible for everyone and now they'll know it."  

"Tough Mudder Street" along with "Clusterfuck Street"were also considered.
Image found here. 

Changes that involve removing parking to relieve congested buses like the 5 and 5L are often deflected, typically by a group of people devoted to ensuring the city continues to clog up the roads with cars and turn off more people to slow and inadequate public transit so they turn to glorious driving.  These groups (like the group from "Save Masonic" often rely on waiting until the last minute to delay and tell projects that it's a crappy plan and to go back to the drawing board after years of planning.  "It's a really effective course of inaction and if that doesn't stall everything we'll just sue them" said "Save Everything in SF" spokesman.  To avoid the NIMBY wrath as they have with Van Ness BRT, Geary BRT, Central Subway and a billion other projects, the Market Street project will traverse a less strenuous path by renaming it. 

Just like corporal punishment!

The project simply needs to go through 12 applications by each wing of city hall, 40 non-profit agencies, and then it's off to "The Grand Wizard" for negotiation and approval before the street can be renamed.  They hope to have this completed before the turn of the century. 

All Street Changes must be approved by The Grand Wizard, as stated in the City Charter.
Image found here.

Bikesore of the Week

Picture taken at a train station in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Absolutely disgusting!  You could fit at least 8 cars here!  They should also charge these people the 34 cents it costs to keep their bikes on the property.  Truly an ugly sight and a parking abomination.  Ugh!

 

Crisis in San Francisco - "There's Only Parking, Everywhere"

There's a real crisis in San Francisco and you see it every day.  There's only parking, everywhere.  Look around and you'll see people's home/apartment garages, private garages, city owned parking garages, street parking and once and a while, metered parking.  While it may appear that there's parking on virtually every street in San Francisco and in every dwelling in upwards of a million spaces, the city desperately needs more.

Crisis at Polk Street where there's only parking on each side of the street, and in parking garages, and all the side streets.
Image found here

While some will argue that parking is a net loss for a city, Dearest District 5 knows better than those fools, even if I don't have any relevant degree or training in urban planning.  San Francisco's 40% vehicle infrastructure simply isn't enough!  And the disgustingly small amount of parking (1.5 square miles of San Francisco's 7 square miles of land).  Parking, as everyone knows, is a renewable resource and needs to continue to grow in a city that is not expanding.

There's only THIS much space devoted to parking in San Francisco, and at some point, there could be less!
Picture found here.  

The SFMTA has been relentless in it's assault on parking, and instead of installing MORE parking spaces, they try to manage supply and demands with metered parking!  Everyone knows it's our god-given right to only pay for where we live, eat, purchase goods, be entertained, but NOT to park on the streets!  And even while prices increase on virtually everything in the city, an annual fee of 100 dollars for a parking permit seems like a sensible approach to mitigating a god given right to store a car in a city.

This is it?!? More More More!!!
picture found here.

Randy McNitty cried, "I heard the MTA is considering spaces on the streets that don't have car parking, and that's absolutely insane!  Where am I going to find the space to park my two cars for free?  If you think I'm going to start biking, taking MUNI, or paying 80,000 dollars for the value of a parking spot, you're sadly mistaken."  Ed Baskly exclaimed, "we really need to fight these idiots in city hall and let the people of this city know that we're not giving away our subsidized parking without a fight.  You're paying to house my idled car if you like it or not and the hell with using it to move traffic or allow anyone else to enjoy this space!"  Neighbors are nervous, because .000000001 percent of the streets right now don't have parking, and that could go even higher.   It's only a matter of time until there isn't parking, everywhere.