Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Eight Year Olds Against Fix Masonic Plans



Linguist determined the note was written by Eight year olds - "What was really puzzling is why 8 year old children would be against the Fix Masonic plan to begin with, since none of them can even drive a car."
After years of community outreach, organizing and planning, dating all the way back to 2005 when the Masonic street redesign was incorporated into the foolish SF bicycle plan, some flyers started cropping up on the Masonic Freeway, which prompted some parents to find out which child of theirs whipped up the grammatically challenged, rage cap laden tirade. Eventually, with the help of a linguist who specializes in primitive texts, they realized this was undoubtedly written by a group of eight year old children.   After this discovery, she commented, "One can only guess why they never received any word of corridor improvement plans. The little tykes probably never knew about the community outreach because they were either in school, or they weren't even born."
One of the parents, Vanessa Buyers, said,  "Once I saw the last 'sentence' reading 'Let them know they'll be uneployed come next election' I knew it was Billy.  We've been trying to get him to spell that word correctly for months now." Eventually they discovered it was the work of Billy and five of his "Besties". 
 
Parents of these scrappy little NIMBYs were outraged to find out their kids were maniacally invoking their civic rights, and so poorly.   Mainly the parents were upset because their children were not allowed to go out of the house after dark to post flyers or "Go anywhere near that Masonic death hole".  Three of the "Masonic Gang of Six" were grounded for a month and the others lost their iPad privileges for a week. 

The "Masonic Gange of Six" vows to "Don't Giveup Withowt a Fite"
But the kids are more determined than ever to ensure that this corridor stick to 1950's standards.  When asked why there were so vehemently against creating a corridor that everyone could enjoy and feel safe, the group replied, "SHUT UP THAT'S WHY!!! JUST SHUT UP YOU IDIOT!!!"
 

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