Looking to Bike or Walk to the Devil's Slide Trail? Here's an Easy Way!

What a beautiful path, that should be open to cars, not dirty bike hippies.
Photo found here.  

The new Devil's Slide trail looks amazing (sans the bike paths), but you're going to have a difficult time getting there with just your stupid bike.  There's also a serious parking shortage once you drive there, courtesy of bike-nuts, probably (they could easily add 1.3 miles of slanted car parking instead of the bike path).  Here are a few easy tips to help you get there!

Step 1: Put your bike back in the garage.  It's not easy to get to the Devil's Slide by bike, so just hold up.

Do you really want to bike through this?
Image found here.

Step 2: Go to the nearest car dealership.  Look for a good model to buy and let someone side hug you while you do it.

"I just can't wait to drive out to walk and bike!"
Image found here.  

Step 3: Now that you have a car, why go for a bike ride?  You can now participate in the glory of drive-through fast food and going to far away malls!  If you need money for gas you might as well sell that silly old bike.  You won't need it anymore.

Doesn't this look more fun anyway?
Image found here.