With the recent overwhelming defeat of Prop L (62.42% opposed) and the resounding support of Prop A (71.30%) and B (61.23%), SF officials are wondering if they should actually start making the city less of a car dependent shit-hole. They've been scratching their heads and wondering if they should really start trying to stop all the tragedy and death on the streets of San Francisco, which is already at 28 people this year and climbing.
"Honestly, we were all shocked at how easily Prop A and B passed. Prop A gives the city a bond for $500 million for transit, road, and safety improvements. Prop B ties Muni funding to population growth which could mean another 20 million or so a year. We're thinking maybe it's time to start putting less emphasis on cars" one city official exclaimed. Officials are also mulling the possibility of putting the newly acquired funds to fix the things they claimed it would fix. "Maybe we'll actually implement the TEP (Transit Effectiveness Project), or create a ped/bike friendly, death-free Polk Street. We might build the Geary and Van Ness BRT. Maybe we'll dedicate more than 3% of the street to modes of traffic other than cars. Hell we might even remove a parking spot or two! The possibilities are definitely limited!"
The SFPD has been debating whether or not to actually start making city streets safer by enforcing all the traffic laws intended to keep pedestrians and cyclists safe. The city is calling this "Vision Zero" while everyone else calls it 'doing your F*cking jobs'. "You know, we might even start preventing people from speeding around here. I know that's pretty crazy, but the public spoke and maybe we'll listen this time around." said one officer. The SFPD has been thinking about ticketing motorists that clog up the crosswalks, since they do it every single day, at every single light change. "We're really thinking about getting out of our cars and doing something."
The abysmal defeat of Prop L has motorists waiting for the impending Carpocalypse if the city actually does what it's been funded and directed to do. City officials have been debating whether or not to find the list of people who voted for Prop L and simply take away all of their car privileges in order to make the streets safer. "I mean, look, no decent motorist would ever vote in favor of Prop L. You have to be one sadistic *@#$# in order to vote for that piece of @#$% proposition. They're seriously the worst drivers out there and we have all their names" said one official. Whether or not San Francisco will become safer and less car dependent as a result of this overwhelming support and money is still anyone's guess.
|"It's enough of a resounding scream from the public to actually do something." said one official as they walked to their city provisioned car and backed out of their free parking spot.|
|"With the overwhelming passage of Prop A & B and shutdown of Prop L, do you think we should make San Francisco look less like Detroit?"|
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|"We might actually get out of these beasts and start implementing Vision Zero." |
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|City Officials debate whether or not to take away drivers licenses from everyone who voted for Prop L. "Good god did you read that thing? Anyone who voted for that is clearly a menace to society"|
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