Wigg Party Plans "Wiggle Stop-In" to do What Most Vehicles Cannot: Obey All Traffic Laws

These vehicles are bound to the same traffic laws, for, you know, "safety".

Despite the study that suggests bicyclists and motorists ignore traffic laws at the same rate, the Wigg Party wants to gather a large group of bikers on Wednesday for a "Wiggle Stop-In".  The party plans to ride back and forth on the Wiggle/Lower Haight and accomplish what most people driving vehicles largely cannot, obey all traffic laws.

The Wigg Party wrote on their Facebook event page,“We want to make the point that, in fact, requiring cyclists to come to full stops at every stop sign is a really terrible idea for everyone on the road.”  They intend to prove a point that bikers do what is in their best interest as well as the interest of moving traffic.  By riding their bikes single file, coming to a complete stop any time a pedestrian has stepped one foot into the crosswalk, they believe they'll show the absurdity of the law and jam up traffic.  This will undoubtedly anger motorists who value their time and sometimes follow the laws themselves.

The Wigg Party also plans to avoid other vehicle behavior:

• Scream honking noises when a biker in front of them does something they object to.
• Leave their bike in a bus lane or middle of the street while they stop into a cafe for a coffee.
• State that pedestrians deserve to be struck if they're not in the crosswalk.
• Demand the city provide 153 square feet of on-street space for each bicycle.
• Demand that bike lanes are engineered as a priority on every street throughout San Francisco. 
• Block crosswalks/intersections to shave a few seconds off a commute.
• Flaunt the speed limit.

Wigg Party wont ask to "Get rid of those other racks and GIVE US OUR GOD-GIVEN SPACE!!!
image found here.

Bikers obeying traffic laws that were meticulously thought out for both high velocity, 2-ton vehicles as well as 15 pound non-motorized vehicles, is sure to please the SFPD Park Station Police Department, which has begun complaint driven cracking down on "reckless" cyclists.

The event is set to take place Wednesday, July 29th, from 5:30 pm - 6:30 pm.  The bicycle inflicted injury and death count is expected to plummet from "extremely rare", to,"extremely rare".  

McAllister Street Breakdown

The SFMTA has to work with the motor-loving community on a daily basis.  They need to balance a street based on the needs of cars, bikers (who don't really matter), cars, a busy bus line (that can get the scraps of what doesn't get allocated to cars), cars, and parking cars along one side of the street, and also parking cars along the other side.

God's speed, SFMTA, God's speed.

Finally, Hollywood Created a Believable Apocalyptic Movie

Police "Crackdown" on Infrequent Causes of Pedestrian Injury

According to community complaints, riding a bike is a nonstatistic danger to pedestrians and needs to be curbed with police resources and time.
image found here. 

Everyone knows that in order to reach Vision Zero, police must treat community complaints as statistics and respond accordingly.  At a recent SFPD Park Station community meeting, the station was told that they should focus more resources and time on "reckless bikers" who endanger the lives of pedestrians, or themselves, or whatever they're basically-the-same-thing-don'tthinkaboutittoomuch.

The police vow to crack down on least frequent causes of pedestrian injury.  Less likely than "tripped on a stone" or "stepped in a hole".
image found here.

The SFPD checked the 2013 Pedestrian and Bicyclist Crash Statistics which reported 66,000 pedestrian injuries in 2013; nearly one injury every eight minutes.  They found that of the the top six sources of injury, "reckless bikers" was oddly missing from the statistics.  Given that the complaints from the community were critically important, they could only deduce that the smallest, nil, to potentially magical sources of injury, should be given far more attention.

The Police department started cracking down on the most infrequent and unlisted causes of pedestrian injury.

• Piggy-back ride contests  
• Zipping up your pants while walking
• Racing stray cats
• Walking with three of your best friends, arm in arm, reciting the lyrics from The Wizard of Oz
• Crocs

In addition to the "crackdown", pedestrians are also being encouraged by the police to stay inside the house at all times if possible, crawl on the sidewalk with a helmet, or better yet, just drive a car. 

Maybe you'll think differently about wearing Crocs next time, Larry.
image found here. 

National Crisis - Hospitals Filled With Bicyclist inflicted "Near Misses"

There's a crisis brewing across the nation.   It affects people in cities, suburbs and even rural America. They're struggling to deal with the staggering amount of "near misses" caused by people on bikes every day.  These tragedies usually happen when a biker rides a few feet near a person, only to be screamed at due to the obvious death and injury they might cause.  The results of such an altercation can be catastrophic.

One of many hospitals across the U.S. filled with bicycle "near misses"
image found here.

No one really knows how often these tragedies strike, but most likely over of 30,000 a year.  The National Journal of Anecdata speculates that it's even more lethal than terrorists, sharks and serial killers.  Doctors have been overwhelmed with the sheer number of patients walking into the hospitals. They're also dumbfounded as how to deal with these debilitating "nearly hit" injuries. Some have called into question whether bicycling should be outlawed to stop the spread of near misses.

Doctor looking over "nearly hit" patient's x-ray, filled with unbroken bones and non-contusions.
image found here. 

While doctors across the country search for a cure to "near misses", police are hitting the streets to stop this scourge before it even happens.  The San Francisco Park Station Police Department has ramped up enforcement of laws that logically apply to nimble, lightweight non-motorized "vehicles".  The SFPD Park Station said at a recent meeting, "The damage that a car inflicts is far worse than what a bike can do, but we get the most complaints about bicyclists," undoubtedly the result of debilitating bicycle "near misses".  One resident, Meg Rosenfeld, suggested they should "Shoot the bicyclists" in order to right these cyclist wrongs.

While there's currently no way to tally, prevent and predict all the near misses around the country, city governments will continue to crack down on the behavior.  This troubling epidemics has made some people even question seemingly benign events like "Sunday Streets" where bicyclists mix with and undoubtedly terrorize pedestrians.  Statistics on the bloodshed and terror haven't been disclosed, as if they don't even exist.  The police department won't let statistics deter them and plan on cracking down on the event in the near future.  "If we can get even one reckless bicyclist off the street and into an SUV, we've done our job", said one officer.

Sunday Streets: Bikers wreaking havoc in SF, ignoring stop signs and lights which are undoubtedly the leading causes of "near miss" casualties.
image found here.

"Satirical Anti-Car Tweeter Lambastes Atlanta"

Saterical, Wabe?  I'm as real as motorists's first world problems!

http://wabe.org/post/satirical-anti-car-tweeter-lambastes-atlanta

Vision Zero: NYC Officer Dink McCallahan Commended for Putting Away 2500 Elderly Pedestrians

Vision Zero champion Joshua Vincek commended for ticketing over1,200 incredibly dangerous cyclists during a 38-month period when the entire precinct summonsed 331 drivers for benign speeding. Dink McCallihan has them all beat.
Source: Streetsblog

When people think of Vision Zero, naturally they think of putting a stop to some of the most reckless individuals on the streets, bikers.  Fortunately, the NYPD has Joshue Vincek, who ticketed over 1,200 bikers who undoubtedly cause the majority of deaths and injuries on NYC streets.  But Josh wasn't the only recipient of a coveted Vision Zero award.  Officer Dink McCallahan was also given an award for citing the worst offenders of all, the jaywalking elderly.

Dink McCallihan loading his "Vision Zero" gun to rid the streets of "reckless, elderly, pedestrians"
image found here 

"Dink is a testament to the city's commitment to stopping all the street terror wrought by pedestrians, especially the elderly.  Our citations aren't based on any statistics.  It's just whatever the motorist community complains about.  Putting away those jaywalking elderly pedestrians is just the tip of the iceberg really.  We hope that he can also find time to cite children playing in the streets, bikers without helmets, and really anyone who impinges upon a motorist's right to their god given street space.  It's the only way we'll decrease the 200 traffic related deaths in our fair city", Said the chief.

Just one of the countless pedestrians with complete and utter disregard for the safety and well-being of the citizens of New York City.  Gladys, you're going away for a long time.
image found here. 

While Paris has determined that bikers going thru some red lights causes no increase in injuries or deaths, and Idaho allows rolling stops, rest assured that NYPD will continue to stop the reckless terror wrought by pedestrians and bikers until they truly reach Vision Zero.  

Bob's BikeBiz Article: "Is a Single Bike Rack Mysteriously Causing Congestion?"

Read my BikeBiz article here! 

SF Firefighters Union Against Bulb-outs & Leaner Streets for... Safety!

Bulbouts and wide sidewalks, probably behind this massive firetruck wedged between parked cars, are the biggest obstacles to public safety.
Image: KTVU

A contentious meeting took place in North Beach yesterday as crusty residents and firefighter unions opposed "basic street safety measures" and asserted that that sidewalk bulb-outs are dangerous. To appease Skeksis skeptics, the SFMTA will instead install painted "safety zones" on intersections along Columbus avenue.  Construction of concrete versions could begin next year, but undoubtedly won't, due to the screams of car loving opponents.

You would be a stone-cold idiot if you were to try and ignore the thousands of years of experience bestowed to us by the firefighter's union - on-street car storage is 1000% safer than bulb-outs and bike lanes.

At first glance the average person may think that bulb-outs, with their six inch raised curbs, are benign and wouldn't cause any issues to firetrucks moving about the city.  Bulb-outs typically replace on-street stored cars and supposedly have been shown to decrease the number of injuries between vehicles and pedestrians.   But Zero Vision derived requests like bulb-outs, bike lanes and 12 foot streets are a non-starter for the centuries old quorum of firefighters, which referred back to ancient fire codes created in the suburbs of Texas for guidance.

Ancient firefighter's union halfheartedly listening to the pleas for slimmer streets and bulbouts from pedestrians & bikers
Image found here.

The bulb-outs “being proposed for Columbus Avenue are not that scary,” said D3 Supervisor Julie Christensen, who got the SFMTA to install trial painted lanes to pacify the squawking SFFD Union & car loving neighborhood associations.  The San Francisco Firefighter's union still reserves the right to redesign any pedestrian and bike "friendly" street design.   On-street parking & hordes of vehicles on the streets has never been mentioned as problem for the firefighter's union.

Bike lanes like this can seriously delay a firetruck, whereas the left on-street car storage side is a fireman's safety dream come true.
image found here.

The Firefighter's Union not only blames bulb-outs, but insist that bike lanes and extended crosswalks hurt response times, so on-street car parking up to the curbs of crosswalks should remain the standard.  This sentiment was echoed by North Beach Neighbors President Trish Herman who believes the rising tide of bike lanes and wide sidewalks can clearly impinge upon the ability for firefighters to do their jobs.  Not only that, Trish bellowed that removing on-street car storage is not "considering the vehicle public."

North Beach Neighbors President Trish Herman screaming her case against more sidewalk space, and for more on-street car storage for the "vehicle public".
image found here

Not everyone shares the views of the firefighters union and other members of the vehicle loving public. Some people like Tony Wessling, a street safety advocate in North Beach said, “It makes no sense to design the city around the fire equipment. It makes better sense to design the fire equipment around the city.” At that point the ancient firefighter's union swarmed around Tony and devoured him, for safety.

Why use small, nimble vehicles like other countries to navigate smaller streets when you can simply maintain archaic street configurations with plenty of on-street car storage?
image found here.